I was looking at my daughter today. Just looking. I had called her in to show her a program on the computer to help her with her math and she was reading outloud what the site was about. I could help but just stare at her for a moment.
She isn't perfect, but she's my daughter. She's already twelve and I wasn't even ready for her to be ten. She reading so well, when did this happen? It seems like she is growing so fast. She osn't perfect, I know that. She has her flaws, but so does everyone else. I wonder where all the time has gone. I feel like I have missed out on so much. Have I been around as much as I should have been? Am I around enough now? I don't want her growing up with the memories I missed out on.
I am starting to hate facebook. Everytime I open it I am reminded how much I still don't belong in the high school I was in. I wasn't a part of it then and I am not a part of it now. I didn't belong to a group of friends. I didn't have the chance. No one knew how hard it was to be me. I see so much of that in my daughter sometimes. She wants the friends, but has a hard time reaching out. Was that me too? I think back and wonder. We moved a lot when I was a kid. I never quiet felt like I fit in anywhere because we moved so much. I know of all these people, yet I know no one.
I am really beginning to hate facebook now. It is only throwing my social flaws in my face.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Applying continues...
I have begun and continue to apply to school districts in the Austin region in hopes that someone's interest will be sparked and I will be offered a position. We have begun to make lists of places we want to look at to live and places we know we don't want to drive through let alone live.
Information, informing ourselves, is the best stratgey right now. Reading the local newspaper, watching some news reports online, reading some local blogs, and looking at every district in the area. That is not an easy task. First thing we have to do is actually put together a list of these school districts. Then we have to go through and apply at every single one of them.
On the 9th there is a job fair in the Austin area that we are currently planning on attending. Several school districts will be there, from all over the state of Texas. We are only interested in the ones in the Austin area. We have made our reservations for a hotel that is very close to the venue. We have a friend who has said she can stay with the kids the 24 hours we will be gone.
now we have to put together cover letters and resumes for each of these districts to make a good first impression. Something that I know is very important.
We are currently debating if we want to make the trip up there this weekend. Two school districts have their own job fairs and the thought is first come first serve. The other thought we have is money. Do we spend the money or wait? We are thinking we could use the time away as well. We can use it to look around the north part of Austin - something we haven't done yet.
There are important steps we are trying to not miss. This has to be a calculated move so as to not through any surprises at us - ok fewer surprises at us. We would like to have an idea of where we would like to settle down before we actually get up there.
So much to do. It can fell overwhelming at times but exciting at times as well.
Information, informing ourselves, is the best stratgey right now. Reading the local newspaper, watching some news reports online, reading some local blogs, and looking at every district in the area. That is not an easy task. First thing we have to do is actually put together a list of these school districts. Then we have to go through and apply at every single one of them.
On the 9th there is a job fair in the Austin area that we are currently planning on attending. Several school districts will be there, from all over the state of Texas. We are only interested in the ones in the Austin area. We have made our reservations for a hotel that is very close to the venue. We have a friend who has said she can stay with the kids the 24 hours we will be gone.
now we have to put together cover letters and resumes for each of these districts to make a good first impression. Something that I know is very important.
We are currently debating if we want to make the trip up there this weekend. Two school districts have their own job fairs and the thought is first come first serve. The other thought we have is money. Do we spend the money or wait? We are thinking we could use the time away as well. We can use it to look around the north part of Austin - something we haven't done yet.
There are important steps we are trying to not miss. This has to be a calculated move so as to not through any surprises at us - ok fewer surprises at us. We would like to have an idea of where we would like to settle down before we actually get up there.
So much to do. It can fell overwhelming at times but exciting at times as well.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Back to Work
Tomorrow I go back to school. I have tried to get things together to make the return go smoother. The powerpoints are ready, the handouts are ready to be copied off in the morning. One problem, I am not quite ready to go back.
I have a department meeting in the morning, 8:15. UGH! I don't think I have been fully awake by 8:15 any morning this week minus the day I went to Austin. So I can only hope that I am fully alert and make sense when asked any questions.
Do I have any soda at school? Good question. I sure hope so.
I have a department meeting in the morning, 8:15. UGH! I don't think I have been fully awake by 8:15 any morning this week minus the day I went to Austin. So I can only hope that I am fully alert and make sense when asked any questions.
Do I have any soda at school? Good question. I sure hope so.
When its over...
its time to teach again....
Its is the last day of Spring Break '09 and I can honestly say I spent the majority of my break just doing things here at the house. I did do some school related things, but honestly I spent a good chunk of it doing, well, not much.
I did do some work around the dining room, that was the extent of the "spring cleaning." However, our dining room does have less items in it and I was able to actually throw some things out that had been needing to hit the trash bin for awhile and I just hadn't done it. (ie I am under motivated to clean.)
Today my focus is split in two. Need to finish up the dining room and then finish prepping for this week's lesson plans. I am somewhat excited about this coming week because I get to begin teaching what I love to teach most - US History. Its only for 5 weeks, but they are my 5 weeks, and I will enjoy, at least I hope, every day of it.
I am assuming that if I am going to get a walk through of my classroom it will be coming in the next few weeks. I have only had someone in my room once this year and it wasn't the individual who would evaluate me.
There are a few things around my classroom I know I need to finish up too. I had actually begun cleaning it up and out before leaving on the break. I need to finishing putting primer on that back wall to cover the maps so I can have a good coat of paint up there soon.
K and I have semi-finalized our plans to go to Austin for the big job fair. The biggest obstacle is/was having someone watch the kids the one night we will be gone who can get Nate to and from school the full day we are going to be up there. That is no longer an obstacle. We have acouple of good friends and one has graciously volunteered to stay with them. She has stayed with the before nad the kids like her, so its cool. We'll leave food and gas money and they are all set. We have our reservations at a hotel close to the site and K has already begun looking for an outfit to wear. She has class the night we need to travel up so we will head out as soon as she gets home from class. We will be up there less than 24 hours this time around.
It is going to be a busy day, but a productive one.
Its is the last day of Spring Break '09 and I can honestly say I spent the majority of my break just doing things here at the house. I did do some school related things, but honestly I spent a good chunk of it doing, well, not much.
I did do some work around the dining room, that was the extent of the "spring cleaning." However, our dining room does have less items in it and I was able to actually throw some things out that had been needing to hit the trash bin for awhile and I just hadn't done it. (ie I am under motivated to clean.)
Today my focus is split in two. Need to finish up the dining room and then finish prepping for this week's lesson plans. I am somewhat excited about this coming week because I get to begin teaching what I love to teach most - US History. Its only for 5 weeks, but they are my 5 weeks, and I will enjoy, at least I hope, every day of it.
I am assuming that if I am going to get a walk through of my classroom it will be coming in the next few weeks. I have only had someone in my room once this year and it wasn't the individual who would evaluate me.
There are a few things around my classroom I know I need to finish up too. I had actually begun cleaning it up and out before leaving on the break. I need to finishing putting primer on that back wall to cover the maps so I can have a good coat of paint up there soon.
K and I have semi-finalized our plans to go to Austin for the big job fair. The biggest obstacle is/was having someone watch the kids the one night we will be gone who can get Nate to and from school the full day we are going to be up there. That is no longer an obstacle. We have acouple of good friends and one has graciously volunteered to stay with them. She has stayed with the before nad the kids like her, so its cool. We'll leave food and gas money and they are all set. We have our reservations at a hotel close to the site and K has already begun looking for an outfit to wear. She has class the night we need to travel up so we will head out as soon as she gets home from class. We will be up there less than 24 hours this time around.
It is going to be a busy day, but a productive one.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Spring Cleaning
I have started cleaning things out. Do you realize how hard that is for a teacher? I mean really. What if I need one of these books again? What if I need some of these resources? It is hard to ge them at times and now I am going to throw them out. Do not ask me when the last time I used them. I don't know. Ok - the government stuff was 2 years ago, the econ stuff 2 years ago because I really didn't use it last year. The US History stuff.... well its been 3 years now, but I really want to get back to teaching that again and.... well ok I am an educational pack rat. There I admit it.
I AM AN EDUCATIONAL PACK RAT!
First step in the process of making it better right? Some of this stuff I know I can get rid of if I have it on CD. Then I can just reprint when/if I need it. So here I am looking at the mess I have made in order to clean and am wondering.... what the hell did I do? Am I nuts thinking i am really going to be able to clean all this up?
I am also thinking how much of a pain in the butt it will be to pack this stuff up and move it if we really are offered jobs in Austin. That is scary.
So I clean, I trash, I cringe as I throw things away reminding myself I haven't used it, I won't use it, I can replace it if/when I may ever need it.
As my students say to me.... wooo saw miss woo saw. (what the hell good it is suppose to be, I am unclear.)
I AM AN EDUCATIONAL PACK RAT!
First step in the process of making it better right? Some of this stuff I know I can get rid of if I have it on CD. Then I can just reprint when/if I need it. So here I am looking at the mess I have made in order to clean and am wondering.... what the hell did I do? Am I nuts thinking i am really going to be able to clean all this up?
I am also thinking how much of a pain in the butt it will be to pack this stuff up and move it if we really are offered jobs in Austin. That is scary.
So I clean, I trash, I cringe as I throw things away reminding myself I haven't used it, I won't use it, I can replace it if/when I may ever need it.
As my students say to me.... wooo saw miss woo saw. (what the hell good it is suppose to be, I am unclear.)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
And now...
What?
Thats the question. We are going to head to Austion for a couple of job fairs during the month of April. The hope is that we are offered jobs. The fear is, we are offered jobs. What if we are? A whole new set of questions will need to be answered and a whole new set of issus will need to be addressed.
First off a move to Austin would mean we are both going to be working. That in itself is a new ballgame for us. Then of course there is the - what the hell do we do if the house doesn't sale concern.
Austin should bring us opportunities we don't have here. My fear is, what if it doesn't? What if we get there and hate it or worse love it and lose our jobs.
Thats the question. We are going to head to Austion for a couple of job fairs during the month of April. The hope is that we are offered jobs. The fear is, we are offered jobs. What if we are? A whole new set of questions will need to be answered and a whole new set of issus will need to be addressed.
First off a move to Austin would mean we are both going to be working. That in itself is a new ballgame for us. Then of course there is the - what the hell do we do if the house doesn't sale concern.
Austin should bring us opportunities we don't have here. My fear is, what if it doesn't? What if we get there and hate it or worse love it and lose our jobs.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Yesterday I took the youngest two out to do some errands with me around the area. I took them up to pay our property taxes. Writing that check stunk! I mean I get the pay our taxes or they take our house thing. I get the part that our taxes helps pay for the running of our government.
However, why should we be forking over taxes for a government that doesn't treat us as equals?
I am not advocating a revolt. Really. I am advocating EQUALITY! If we are expected to be full monetary participants in our government why should I not expect to be allowed full participant status? Should my marriage not be recognized so that we can be ful participants?
Our oldest child is currently in college, while our second to the oldest is preparing to enter college in the fall. Both of them are going to be going to college with very little paid out of our pockets thanks to the state's inability to recognize us. K makes very little taxable income, she does bring money into the house, but it isn't taxable. Also, please do not get onto the kick that she should be working... that is a whole other subject that I will go three rounds about.
Back to the subject. Since the do not recognize us, when the children fill out their financial aid forms they do not have anywhere to place the money I bring into the home. I do not "qualify" as a stepmother and therefore there is no place for my income on the paperwork. Now what this does is lower the expected family contribution amount - significantly I do believe. To zero in fact. Now with L getting ready to go they each will actually have their financial aid amount increased because there will be 4 college students from our home. R, M, K, and L. M has lived with us almost 2 years now and falls under K for financial aid reasons.
Without the recognition there are loopholes we fit through. I do not feel unethical going through those loopholes since there are so many benefits we aren't afforded because of the lack of recognition as well. There have been portions of time that K has had to go without health insurance because I am not able to cover her. We have been fortunate that those spans of time have not be so significant that she has become ill, but there have been times where she should have gone to the doctor and didn't because she wasn't covered at that time.
There are reasons people give for not recognizing our marriage, and I understand that marriage isn't for everyone. However, why should those people have any say in me having the right to have my marriage acknowledged just like every other person who chose to marry?
However, why should we be forking over taxes for a government that doesn't treat us as equals?
I am not advocating a revolt. Really. I am advocating EQUALITY! If we are expected to be full monetary participants in our government why should I not expect to be allowed full participant status? Should my marriage not be recognized so that we can be ful participants?
Our oldest child is currently in college, while our second to the oldest is preparing to enter college in the fall. Both of them are going to be going to college with very little paid out of our pockets thanks to the state's inability to recognize us. K makes very little taxable income, she does bring money into the house, but it isn't taxable. Also, please do not get onto the kick that she should be working... that is a whole other subject that I will go three rounds about.
Back to the subject. Since the do not recognize us, when the children fill out their financial aid forms they do not have anywhere to place the money I bring into the home. I do not "qualify" as a stepmother and therefore there is no place for my income on the paperwork. Now what this does is lower the expected family contribution amount - significantly I do believe. To zero in fact. Now with L getting ready to go they each will actually have their financial aid amount increased because there will be 4 college students from our home. R, M, K, and L. M has lived with us almost 2 years now and falls under K for financial aid reasons.
Without the recognition there are loopholes we fit through. I do not feel unethical going through those loopholes since there are so many benefits we aren't afforded because of the lack of recognition as well. There have been portions of time that K has had to go without health insurance because I am not able to cover her. We have been fortunate that those spans of time have not be so significant that she has become ill, but there have been times where she should have gone to the doctor and didn't because she wasn't covered at that time.
There are reasons people give for not recognizing our marriage, and I understand that marriage isn't for everyone. However, why should those people have any say in me having the right to have my marriage acknowledged just like every other person who chose to marry?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Lobby Day!
Today I made my way to Austin for Lobby Day! It is the one day of the year that AFT tries to get as many teachers as possible to the capital to talk the the legislators about what we, as educators, want and expect them to do during this legislative session.
I took our 12 year old with me. I felt it would be a great experience for her, and it was. She was excited about seeing the capital. She took all kinds of pictures and walked all over the capital building. I want her to see how we fight for her and other students to have a better education.
The next couple of weeks will be interesting around here.
We are on Spring Break right now. I plan on spending time with K and the kids, but I also have to plan for the weeks after I return to the classroom. The TAKS test is coming up 5 weeks after we get back from Spring Break and I have to do what I can to give the students the necessary information to enable them to have the best chance possible to pass the test. So I will be spending some of the time this week preparing some lessons, strategies, and items 9like flash cards) for them to use.
K is really great in bouncing ideas off of. We start talking and the ideas start coming. She gave me this idea about making matching cards and it has taken off on its own. I am taking things that have appeared often on past TAKS tests and making cards for them. Both picture and word cards. Where the students can match the name with the picture and vice versa.
I will be bouncing more things off of her all week long I am sure.
We have continued to talk about moving. There are a couple of job fairs coming up in April in the area we are very interested in moving to. The reservations have been made and we are making plans to spend the weekend up there when the job fair is taking place. I am going through the fliers, checking to make sure I have everything in order that they are asking us to have. I need to purchase a file folder to slide things into and out of easily. I may have something already now that I think about it. I was given a leather file folder type item during a college field trip to a chemical plant. Hmmm.... where did I put it?
We have decided to go up there, attend the job fairs and see what happens. It would be nice to be in the position to have to decide about the move due to a job offer.
I took our 12 year old with me. I felt it would be a great experience for her, and it was. She was excited about seeing the capital. She took all kinds of pictures and walked all over the capital building. I want her to see how we fight for her and other students to have a better education.
The next couple of weeks will be interesting around here.
We are on Spring Break right now. I plan on spending time with K and the kids, but I also have to plan for the weeks after I return to the classroom. The TAKS test is coming up 5 weeks after we get back from Spring Break and I have to do what I can to give the students the necessary information to enable them to have the best chance possible to pass the test. So I will be spending some of the time this week preparing some lessons, strategies, and items 9like flash cards) for them to use.
K is really great in bouncing ideas off of. We start talking and the ideas start coming. She gave me this idea about making matching cards and it has taken off on its own. I am taking things that have appeared often on past TAKS tests and making cards for them. Both picture and word cards. Where the students can match the name with the picture and vice versa.
I will be bouncing more things off of her all week long I am sure.
We have continued to talk about moving. There are a couple of job fairs coming up in April in the area we are very interested in moving to. The reservations have been made and we are making plans to spend the weekend up there when the job fair is taking place. I am going through the fliers, checking to make sure I have everything in order that they are asking us to have. I need to purchase a file folder to slide things into and out of easily. I may have something already now that I think about it. I was given a leather file folder type item during a college field trip to a chemical plant. Hmmm.... where did I put it?
We have decided to go up there, attend the job fairs and see what happens. It would be nice to be in the position to have to decide about the move due to a job offer.
Monday, March 9, 2009
It's March already!
It is hard to believe that it is already March of 2009. Where has the time gone?
Our youngest, C, just lost his first tooth. His second one is quickly following. He is already 8, so he was over due to lose his first couple. I have signed him uo for Little League. He loves sports and I want to put it to a positive use for him.
Counseling for K, our 12 year old, is getting more serious, if that makes sense. We had our first family meeting to discuss what her goals are and to get her to understand that she is expected to participate. That we all want her to be able to learn to express her feelings in better ways.
N, the eldest boy in the house right now, has transferred to the high scholl I teach at. There have been some backlashes that we were expecting nor did we forsee. Ker and I did more talking during my drives to and from school than we realized and having him in the car with me curbs the serious conversation. We have had to find time to talk at other times. This is hard with four kids still at home. I can feel that we are struggling with it.
N is having the same problems he has had in the past, not turning things in. This is more frustrating for Ker now that he is further away. She doesn't feel as connected with his new teachers than she did here. There is a level of control that she is use to that she doesn't feel she has. He very well may end up back at his old high school if things don't get better for him.
L, is doing well academically. She is focused on school life more than anything. She has done well with her music. She has earned a seat to the state competition - not bad for a state this size. She is starting to somewhat look ahead more. We are trying to push her to the realization that she has to plan ahead. That high school isn't going to last forever and the decisions she makes right now will have an impact on her life in college. Sometimes I think the talks work and other times I am not sure. growing pains.
Ker and I are again talking about moving. We keep coming back to the subject so much that it is only a matter of time before we make the jump. I just want us to be as prepared as possible for it when we do jump.
The economy is skydiving, not hang gliding, but that doesn't mean we have to go down with it. So one of the first things we've done is we sat down and talked about the finances. That is a really hard thing for us. We have both acknowledged it and are working on it, together.
Thats the whole key.... working together.
Our youngest, C, just lost his first tooth. His second one is quickly following. He is already 8, so he was over due to lose his first couple. I have signed him uo for Little League. He loves sports and I want to put it to a positive use for him.
Counseling for K, our 12 year old, is getting more serious, if that makes sense. We had our first family meeting to discuss what her goals are and to get her to understand that she is expected to participate. That we all want her to be able to learn to express her feelings in better ways.
N, the eldest boy in the house right now, has transferred to the high scholl I teach at. There have been some backlashes that we were expecting nor did we forsee. Ker and I did more talking during my drives to and from school than we realized and having him in the car with me curbs the serious conversation. We have had to find time to talk at other times. This is hard with four kids still at home. I can feel that we are struggling with it.
N is having the same problems he has had in the past, not turning things in. This is more frustrating for Ker now that he is further away. She doesn't feel as connected with his new teachers than she did here. There is a level of control that she is use to that she doesn't feel she has. He very well may end up back at his old high school if things don't get better for him.
L, is doing well academically. She is focused on school life more than anything. She has done well with her music. She has earned a seat to the state competition - not bad for a state this size. She is starting to somewhat look ahead more. We are trying to push her to the realization that she has to plan ahead. That high school isn't going to last forever and the decisions she makes right now will have an impact on her life in college. Sometimes I think the talks work and other times I am not sure. growing pains.
Ker and I are again talking about moving. We keep coming back to the subject so much that it is only a matter of time before we make the jump. I just want us to be as prepared as possible for it when we do jump.
The economy is skydiving, not hang gliding, but that doesn't mean we have to go down with it. So one of the first things we've done is we sat down and talked about the finances. That is a really hard thing for us. We have both acknowledged it and are working on it, together.
Thats the whole key.... working together.
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