Arguments

Is there such a thing as productive arguments? Arguments that do not undermine the relationship?

Is there a way to disagree and not be destructive?

I am searching for a way to be able to disagree/argue and not screw with the relationship. I have tried to go beyond the type of person I was in arguments of past. It has not been easy to change my bad habits.

I am that type of person that I will hold things in until they get to a point that I feel like I will bust. I don't want to be like that. It is destructive to me as well as my relationships. I have tried to be more "blunt." That is to say what I feel then and there and not let it build to the point that I am boiling over and cannot communicate effectively.

My last relationship I let everything go until that point. I let the little shit build up. I didn't step up and say I don't like this. Emotionally it destroyed me, but it was the way I saw things were suppose to be. Its small let it go. Its nothing big - let him have his way. What's the harm - it makes him happy.

Part of that continues. It makes her happy - let it go. Its nothing huge, let it go. I have tried to stop letting things get to a boiling point. To that point in which all the anger and hurt I have buried comes rushing out. Where the words I am trying to find to explain how I feel won't come out.

I feel like an emotional ping pong ball. Its not fair to without normal communications or walk around the house ignoring someone because they said something you disagree with. That is emotional blackmail. The silence is deafening. The point is clear. I am wrong - I say so and all is better. What about when I am not wrong?

What about then?