Its been just over two weeks and I still cry. I cry at the oddest things. I miss her. I miss texting her what is going on and getting texts from her. I am trying not to look back with the what ifs. Trying not to think I should have done better. But at times I do. I keep think this has to be a dream - but I know it isn't.
We are preparing to sell our house and move to the city. It is a time that I would be leaning on her and she would be cheering me up telling me its ok. She'd be here if she could. I take some comfort in knowing that I hugged her the last time I saw her. That I know I told her I loved her and cared about her. She knew she was closer to me than my family.
Today I will keep busy, going through things, throwing stuff out, packing what I can, making a few repairs where possible, and painting. We moved in 5 days. I believe we will be ready.
Don't know how I feel. Lost is a good word. Numb would work to an extent, but I am not fully numb, just sad. I just want to stop crying, remember her with smiles and laughter, not with tears.
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