Saturday before the move

It is Saturday... 1:45am. I shouldn't be awake, but I am. There is a lot on my mind right now and I just can't seem to drift off to sleep. I will, it's just going to take time. We have 5 days left to pack everything up and be ready to load up the moving van. The sixth day is load up and leave day. As I look around the house I see so much left to do and prepare for moving. I know we have done a good deal. We have several boxes packed up, we have disposed of a great deal of trash, given away boxes of clothes and furniture that was in the garage, and we have really tried to make sure the breakables are packed right Southey don't break. I have a job waiting for me, it looks like we will have a house, I will have my wife by my side, and our kids with us, so why can't I just relax about this move? Logically I know there is only so much I can prepare for. Logically I know I am a damn good teacher. Why is it I can't let the anxiety of it all go? What is it about this move keeps me from sleeping, from relaxing. What is it that is worrying me so much that my stomach has episodes where I feel like I am about to go over that first large drop on a roller coaster.(which, by the way, I hate.) I worry we won't have enough boxes. I worry we won't have enough help on Thursday morning. I worry about the long drive. I worry about the kids adjusting to a new place. I worry about me adjusting to new everything. I have been in South Texas for 14 years now. This is where I had my son, ended a marriage, started a new life with Ker, started my career, built a house, earned a reputation as a good teacher. This is where I have built a life. This was a good place to stop over, but we never felt like it was the place to stay. We have both always said it felt like we weren't in the right place yet. We weren't in a bad place, just not the right place. Moving is giving us a new chapter. I don't want to say fresh start, because we aren't starting over, we are continuing to build. This move is a new chapter for our relationship and for our family. I think everyone wants a feeling of a clean slate. That is what this move does. Places us all some place where we all experience firsts together. Why am I so worried? Because I want to do the right things for my family. I want this move to go smooth enough that the kids aren't stressed by the physical part of the moving. The emotional part is bad enough. I don't want my marriage to feel the stress of the move. Ker says I don't have to be strong all the time. I know, because I'm not. I just don't say I am worried as often as I am. Part of me figures if I ignore it, the feelings will pass faster. The next five days will go by slow and yet faster than we are expecting. By keeping busy most of the day, it will go by at a pretty fast clip, but on Wed, I know I am going to think damn we should have gotten more done before today. So here is to five days left in Texas. Here is to a new chapter starting for us.