Making Waves

I am making waves, in many ways.
I have made the very active decision to fight the policies that have been established that prevent my wife from having access to the health care insurance that the spouses of other employees of the district I work for have access to.
I have encountered many barriers in the past, but have always been concerned with losing my job, or things been made more difficult for me at work. It was done in the past, before I even thought about making waves.
My current school district has determined that their definition of a spouse is the definition of a spouse as defined by the federal tax code. Awesome, right? I mean this is the first year that we have been able to file our taxes as a married couple. So, by federal tax code definition, we are now married.
I bring this up to our HR and receive a response that says thanks for bringing this to our attention but:
Regulation xxxx expressly states that “when a conflict arises between . . . School Board regulations versus state . . . statutes . . . the state . . . statutes will take precedence.” The  State Constitution currently defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Therefore, we cannot currently provide health care benefits to same-sex spouses.
What this wonderful human being did, however, was leave out some information. In every place the ... was typed, a reference to the federal statutes and regulations were referred to. 
After taking this response in for a couple of days, I did respond. 

I thank you for your reply, but further request clarification on this issue.

You have quoted Regulation xxx as the reasoning behind the inability to cover my spouse. However, you did not quote the regulation in its entirety. 

The regulation actually states: 

Plan benefits and provisions are governed by the proposal issued by the successful 

vendor, as amended in negotiations, and by School Board regulations. However, when 

a conflict arises between plan provisions or School Board regulations versus state or 

federal statutes and regulations, the state or federal statutes and regulations will take 

precedence. 

Using your response and evidence for denial, you are stating that our district is choosing to ignore the conflict between policy and federal regulations. 

Our district clearly stated that the definition of spouse, as determined by the federal government, is the definition that it uses. The precedence has already been set that federal policy and regulations rule in the matter of the definition of a spouse. 

I look forward to having a better understanding as to why the district has chosen to ignore the federal policies that are in place.

I am now awaiting a response. I have already been in contact with two school board members and the individual I have communicated with had copied the head of HR, the school board member, and one other individual, so it was only right I copied them my response. I also blind copied my immediate administrator so as to not have her blind sided by a response from the higher ups later. She is, thankfully, very supportive and entertained by the blatant disregard of the entire policy given during the response. 

I not asking for a handout, I am asking to be treating equally and respectfully. The health care premiums will be paid by me, not by the district. 

We were fortunate enough to get some time away during my spring break. This picture is from out beach trip and reminds me that there is a light house to help guide me, even in the worst of of storms, I just have to do my part of the work and look for it. the light house only guides me, I have to get myself into the calm waters of the harbor.