Grant me patience, PLEASE

Our 18 yr old daughter is home for the semester due to a November car accident she was in. She has an injured leg that is requiring physical therapy and visits with the orthopedic for the next several months.
Somewhere along the line she also seems to have injured her personality and I swear her intelligence. I am not trying to be mean, but I am having a very difficult time dealing with her "issues."

I say "issues" because I understand the physical injury. It wasn't her fault. She didn't do anything to put herself in harms way. She didn't step out in front of traffic, didn't try bungee jumping, rock climbing, parachuting, or uni-cycling. She was the back seat passenger of a vehicle that was stopped in traffic and was then rear ended by a dumb ass college student, in an F-150, who, at 70 mph did not see the dozens of red rear lights of the traffic that was stopped ahead of her. When this dumb ass finally realized there were stopped vehicles she used the vehicle our daughter was in to make a sudden and violent stop.

Since then L has been very difficult to deal with. I don't know how many times I have seen her cry, not just from pain, but from the why me question. The pity party she has thrown for herself is now reaching into its fourth month. She has not been able to mentally get past this. I am at a loss to be of any help. In fact, I have gone into retreat.

She has turned on people her at home. She is, for the lack of other words, bitchy. She has yelled at the younger kids, said things she doesn't need to say, and is just rude and bitchy. I am tired of the attitude that we are here to supply her with all her wants and needs and that she is incapable of doing things because she is in a boot. She can still walk around. She will claim, and has claimed, she can't. I have, at that point, reminded her of the 18 to 24 year olds who are returning from Iraq and Afghanistan in wheelchairs who would love to be able to change places with her. The ones without the leg to repair, over time, in a boot.

I have grown short with her. I do not want any part of her pity party. K says she is going to go see her counselor. I personally think a good ass kicking would be just as helpful.

She wasn't doing well in college last fall. She didn't say a word to us about it. Never asked for help, never warned us. When the shit began to hit the fan she then tried to lie about it. I am so over her crap. It has been on continuous problem. Ok, its not one problem, but several problems that have become intertwined and are a big pain in the ass.

I ask for patience. I ask for internal wisdom and guidance - because right now I am lost.

What a week!

The History Day competition is fast approaching. My students are coming down to the wire for deadline. I am putting in longer hours at school, but so are they.

I hate having to spend so much time away from home, but I love it when things start clicking and the students interest is sparked. The are really starting to throw this documentary together. The ideas are flowing. I just hope they are able to edit it well.

Back to school

I have returned to school. One of the things that I have to do for my Psychology and Sociology classes is to read articles and write reaction papers and critical analysis's of them.

The very first article I chose to do a reaction paper to is very near and dear to me. http://www.newsweek.com/id/229957

I loved the way this article tore apart the conservative arguments against gay and lesbians being able to be married.

The big argument behind the conservative push to keep same-sex couples from getting married is that same-sex couple marriages would ruin the institution of marriage. Everyone from Jay Leno to the corner store cashier have said something to the effect of "Let them be as miserable as we are, let them get married."

Not allowing same-sex couples to marry has not helped society. It also hasn't helped the economy. Same-sex couples, in most states, cannot jointly own property without jumping through MANY MANY legal hoops. Insurance is another huge issue, as is retirement funding.

I love this quote: "We've been demonized so long that the reality is when we actually do come out, so much of the fear evaporates," said Jones.

A new twist

This next semester will be a little different for us than last semester.

L has learned she will not be able to return to College Station just yet. She has to undergo a lot of physical therapy on her leg and there is no way she will be able to do all of this on her own and be at the University. So we have another warm body at home.

It is going to be a hectic semester. More for Ker than for me for the most part. I am taking two courses online through the local college in order to finish the requirements for my full Iowa license. Ker is also taking two grad classes. So she is taking L to all of her appointments, taking N to all of his appointments, K and C to their monthly appointments, going to her appointments, and then handling grad classes. What else did I miss? Her plate is pretty full.

Her classes are night classes, which stinks to a point because that's when I am actually home, but it gets her out of the house and gives her some adult connections other than myself. I know she needs it, craves it. She does seem to enjoy the classes she takes, even when she complains.

The second semester is beginning soon and today is a teacher's work day. I would rather be home. it's raining, its cold, and Ker is sitting at home. However, I do know I will get more work done her and I am trying to prepare for this next semester. The more I get done now the less I have to scramble later. At least that is the thought and hope.

Happy New Year!

I can hardly believe it is 2010 already - and I'll be heading back to school from our holiday break soon.
I have really, really enjoyed the time off this year. I am one of those people who seem to have a hard time around the holidays. I don't go through the why am I here stuff, I just seem to be an emotional roller coaster. This year, I think I did better than in year's past. I hope I did.

I have gotten back into sewing. Made a blanket for, or in the process of finishing up, every one of our kids. Ker is really supportive of it, and it does seem to relax me. Do I get irritated when something doesn't go quite like I planned? Yes. But I know I can fix it. I am proud of the little creations that I can give them. Sounds nuts to some, but it means something. I have always been thankful to have something my grandmother made.

There is a "tradition" of resolutions for the New Year. I have never really taken them seriously because it seems those who go out of their way to make a resolution doom themselves to failure. It is as if they are only making the declaration to be public about it and not because it is something they truly intend to continue or truly need to do.

Before the New Year came about I proclaimed that I intend to live healthier, to watch my weight, to handle the stress of teaching better, and to be a better mom and wife. I am fortunate to have the family I have, as rough as things might get at times, they are my family and I am very blessed.

I have a great wife. She is loving, caring, cuddly, and puts up with my hijinks. I love to see her smile, truly smile and I have seen her smile more during these last few months than I can recall in the last year or so.

My marriage has had its share of up and downs. I am very thankful to be able to say we weather the downs together much better than we did before. We are a stronger couple, a better partnership, than we were just six months ago.

My own biological daughter is about to turn 13. I ask for the wisdom to see us through her teen years without putting a huge wall between us. I look forward to watching her grow as much as I cry at the thought of her growing up.

My New Year's resolution: keep going into the positive direction I have been working on going in. Don't forget where we were; I don't want to return there. Realize that no matter how difficult things may be outside this house, that when I come home it is all worth it.

My family, my life, my love, my wife.

Back to reality...

We are home again. Reality has returned... some. I am determined not to let things stress me as they have in the past. It won't be easy, but I am such a better person of I don't allow things to get to me. I want to be able to enjoy Christmas.

I have started making another quilt. I finished a blanket already and have started on one for our room. Its a little more detailed than I have attempted before, but I want to try.

Visit to Austin

We are in Austin. We were finally able to get a coupe of days away together, just the two of us. My Holiday Break began Friday and runs through the 4th of Jan. The younger two are spending a couple of days with the father, so we are taking the chance to get away. Just the two of us. We are doing some shopping, some looking around, but basically we are just spending time together, alone, without any children. It is AWESOME!!