Merry Christmas!

It is hard to believe that it s already Christmas 2011. This year seems to have flown by. However, I know at times it crept by.


This year brought the loss of a good friend. I had known her since high school. She was taken fast and unexpectedly. She is missed by many.

I have had some good moments this year as well. I have been very lucky in terms of getting supplies provided to my classroom. I feel very fortunate for that. We are in the process of selling our house. We had hoped it would be finished by now, but due to some problems with the buyers, it has been dragged out for some time now. Our realtor hopes to have it done by the end of January. We can only hope.

As I look back on this year I have many things I can say I have been blessed with. I was very blessed to have such a good friend in my life for as long as I did. Her passing has had an impact on my life that has yet to be truly measured. I know life is much shorter than any of us want it to be. I don't take it for granted. I spend as much time with my family as I can and make sure to tell them I love them often.

I love you guy!!

Another flood claim, great.

Back in October we learned that the slope of the driveway here at our rental is not conducive to rain. I know, sounds a bit strange, but it turns out that the drive slopes, well the concrete pad that is in front of the garage, slopes in the wrong direction. When it rains it sends the rain toward the garage instead of towards the street and drainage openings. Great right? No, not really.

The first heavy rain we get guess what we learn, all about this sloping issue. When does this rain occur? While I am at work. What is in the garage? What isn't? So many things got wet and ruined. Things we hadn't been ablt to put up yet or decide where to put them. The worst part is the appliances. Our washer and dryer is there and so is the deep freezer. I am glad we don't own the hot water heater.

We are now in the process of putting in a claim for these things. I didn't think the water had destroyed to many things, but now our washer is having some electrical glitches. Not cool. Have to put a list of things together that were destroyed and prepare the paperwork and hope to get reimbursed quickly. Must admit we are fortunate that our insurance company is pretty decent about this stuff.

Holiday Vacation Begins

I have the next full work week off. What will I do? Honestly, I don't know what I will actually get done. I am hoping to get the grading I brought home done and some small projects around the house done as well. We want to get the decorating done, so that is on the list for sure.

I would also like to get some lesson planning done. Hoping to get a few weeks of lessons put into the system so that I have less to be concerned with later.

Relax? What is that?

Classroom Changes

I have been very fortunate to come across a website that is helping teachers in their classrooms. Yesterday I received 30 brand new desks, that really make my classroom pop. Every single student smiles when they walked into the room and saw them. I heard many students say woah, what the, and oh wow. They definitely notice a difference in the feel and look of the room.

Thank you to anyone who take the time to help out teachers. Spend a dollar... it helps. www.donorschoose.org

Life continues...

It is November. Hard to believe it. I have been really bad about updating the blog. I have been very busy.

We have been in the new place 4 months now. Being in a bigger city has had its blessings and it downfalls. K and N, our high school age kids have had only positive impacts from what I can see. They can walk home if the need ever arises. K moved over to the bigger high school and hasn't looked back. She doesn't feel like she sticks out, she is taking courses she wouldn't have had access to at the other school, and she eats lunch with me every day right now. I know that will change as she gets older, but it has been nice to spend extra time with her.

C on the other hand has had a little adjustment problem. The classes are bigger, the school is bigger, and he doesn't know anyone. Well, he is getting to know people now, but he is the new kid at an elementary and that has been tough. It will be easier for him next year when every one is new at the middle school.

Big K enjoys being closer to everything. She has been able to be more involved with what I have going on, has been able to come up to meet me for lunch, and the biggest thing, I am getting home earlier than I ever have. That is a nice thing.
The neighborhood we have landed in seems really nice too. There are community parties, parades, and a neighborhood feeling we haven't ever had before. It makes me feel bad that our kids really did miss out on things by us staying over in the smaller town for as long as we did. Can't change the past, can only look forward.

Our house hasn't sold yet, we do have someone living in it paying rent. The hope is that the loan will be approved later this month and we will be finished with that mess soon. Having to worry about 2 houses has been tough. I really want to be done with the other house as soon as possible.

School is keeping me busy. Teaching AP US History has really been rough.

This whole school year has been rough. I don't think I have met a single teacher that has said they are having a great year. We just seem to be surviving it.

It has been a year in which I have tried to balance helping others and yet keeping to myself. I have a cousin who is also a teacher, in another state I have helped her. Would help her when ever I could. I have a teacher in the class next to me - she's on her own.

It has been an odd school year.

Another year, starting it off right

School is getting ready to begin. At times I find it hard to believe that classes begin in just over two weeks.

I have been busy trying to make sure this year starts off on the right foot. The APUSH class is going to keep me busy, reading and staying ahead of the students. If I get things done now, like making copies, preparing the calendar, getting things up on the websites, then I have less stress when classes are going on.

All of this is happening when we are still trying to get settled into the house and sell our other one. The youngest kids have been with their Dad for the past month. We leave for Houston tomorrow to bring them home on Monday. So this week is going to be be a busy one and possibly a little hectic. Getting them back home and back into a routine will be a little tough, but it will be great having them home again.

C is registered for school, K will be registered next week. Life is about to get busy. I can't believe she is going to be in high school. Its going to be an interesting year of transition.

Feeling settled?

The summer is coming to an end fast. Part of me is happy to see it end. I want to get back into a routine in order to begin feeling settled again. After having a busy summer, emotionally, mentally, and physically, I am really ready to focus on a routine.

I am currently in Austin, attending training for the APUS History class that I will be teaching for the first time. Being here I have learned a great deal, about myself.

For years, we have been trying to find a way to get out of where we are and move further north. I have had several interviews in the past, have chased jobs, and have come close to landing a job - I always seem to be a finalist. This visit I learned of a position that is open and instead of jumping at a chance to interview for it, I said why? Why should I? Is this a good time? I had several questions running through my head before I made the decision to jump.

I am not going to put myself out there for another job, right now. I can't do that to the family, or myself. I am finally is a professional position that I am comfortable with. I have waited several years to finally get back to teaching US History and to teach APUS History. I have my chance. Why would I jump now?

We just moved from our home of 5 years. It has been a very emotional time for us and we have been trying hard to feel settled and at home in our new place. This has really been tough. It isn't not possible, but I think it won't feel fully settled until we get back into the routine of school. Once that begins we will see the benefits of our sacrifices this past summer.

N is a senior, it wouldn't be right to uproot him just weeks before the start of it. k is about to begin her freshman year and is very excited about being part of the yearbook staff. It wouldn't be right for any of us.

There may never be the perfect time to move, but there is an obviously bad time, and I think this is one of those bad times.

Can't sleep

We are in Austin and I am having problems sleeping. Have talked a lot to K today and talked a lot about Maggie's passing. So much on my mind, yet nothing is there.

Trying to get back to normal

As the days go by I am trying to get back to normal. Now that I am not running back and forth to the other house, I seem to be slowly getting more energy. I have been very tired the last few weeks.

Saturday K and I are going to head to Austin. It is a day earlier than planned, but we need the time away. We need some down time. I will be going to classes Monday through Thursday, but we are also planning on staying until Sunday. So we will be up there a little over a week. If we could leave tomorrow I would seriously think about it.

I need to go up to the school to get some things organized in my classroom and K is going to get things ready here for us to leave Saturday morning. I am looking forward to it. Once we get back we will have about a week before the younger two finally get to come home and then a week after they get home I go back to work. Hard to believe the summer is winding down so fast.
Tomorrow I need to really make some headway in the classroom so that when I come back I won't have to be rushing. I have enough to do when I get back to prepare for students. I am trying to prepare my first semester. Working on it. I need to get things copied and get lessons ready.

Let's not forget that we still have to get the new house together. Things still need unpacked and done around here. So while there is a list of things that need to get done, I need to rest as well. I need to be relaxed and rested for the school year to start.

Next chapter

Yesterday I finally finished cleaning out our house. It is ready for the realtor to take pictures and sell it. There are a few things left in the back yard, but I will get to those after I catch my breath.

Today I spent several hours up at school trying to move things from my old classroom to my new one. I made a pretty big dent into it. Most things are over in the new room. Tomorrow I have plans to return to finish getting all of the visually obvious things out my old room and hoping to clean up the mess in my new room.

I have been working on unit planning as well. Someone asked me if I ever sit down. Yes, I do, but I always seem to have something else to get done.

Sunday I have to go to Austin for the training I have to attend next week. I will be busy during the day, but it is time away. K is going with me. Hoping to get some alone time and relax together.

Its been a long summer that I haven't found time to relax. It has been emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. When do I catch up?

How much more?

I keep asking myself this question every time I have to go back to the other house to work on something. I am so tired of working on it. Cleaning, painting, cutting, drilling, cleaning, mowing, and everything in between. I have been waking up early every morning for the past two weeks. Trying to get over there and get somethings done before it gets too hot to do anything.

Today, it was cloudy long enough for us to finish the deck. Even put water sealant on it. We were able to start the clean up of the front porch as well. The gentleman we hired to worked on the closets did a good job and they are finished. We are now able to complete the painting and cleanup of the inside of the house. It is just taking us forever. I am sore. My knees hurt.

I want to finish this house up soon. I have to. I need to put some closure on this and begin focusing on the things that lie ahead. To begin making this new place feel like home. I have more to do here. I have a school year to begin to prepare for.

Tomorrow the front of the house will be done. I am hoping to be able to clean out the one bedroom downstairs that is still a mess from the construction. There isn't a lot to do, just a lot for those of us who are trying to get it done. Burn out is fast approaching.

Not finished yet

I am still working on the house. Preparing it for sale. This is the second week of working on it. I took two days off this week. Sunday, my birthday, and then Monday I drove the kids to Houston to take a flight up to their Dad's. They will be gone until Aug 8. I will be busy the entire time they are gone.

I have to finish the house this week! I have to. I need to be done with the painting and repairing before it drives me nuts or into a bed too sore to move a muscle. I have been so sore all week. Tomorrow we have a handy man coming in to help us with the drywall project. I can't tape and mud for anything.

Then, of course, there is getting this house together, going up to Austin for training, and getting prepared for school to begin again. I have lessons to plan, a classroom to move and set up, and to get my bearings together with the new subject I will be teaching. I still have a ton of things to cram into these last weeks of summer.

Still painting and cleaning

I have just finished day 3 of cleaning and painting at our place in Ingleside. We are getting things done over there, just very slow. I want to make sure it makes an impression on anyone who walks in to see it. I am hoping it sells fast.

Move in process

We are living at the new house. Its been a long weekend trying to get things moved in.
It hasn't been an easy process. There are still many things to be done at the old house and we are trying to settle in here at the new house.

I am tired. I was able to take it easy today, only had one load. Took us two hours to get things together to complete the load. Tomorrow I hope to get a couple of rooms completely cleaned out and possibly some painting will begin. I really want to get it on the market before the end of the week.

No more Pepsi

I am a Pepsi survivor.

I know this sounds funny, but I am three weeks clean. I have not had a Pepsi in three weeks and 1 day. Its not just Pepsi, but any soda in fact.

This may not sound like a big deal, but it is. I grew up with Pepsi. There was Pepsi readily available to me as a child. There is one picture of me in high school, study hall, were I have a Pepsi in front of me and I am eating a Reeses peanut butter cup. My two favorites. At my grandmother's home, Pepsi was the chosen drink. She would have bottles of it, stacked and readily available, and consumed.

I cannot recall a single day in which I did not have a soda, until these past three weeks. I am consciously making the choice to not drink or buy one. It feels great to know, that to this point, I have conquered my addiction. However, I also know that if I drink one, I may not stop. I want to be healthier. This is a huge step.

When does the crying stop?

Its been just over two weeks and I still cry. I cry at the oddest things. I miss her. I miss texting her what is going on and getting texts from her. I am trying not to look back with the what ifs. Trying not to think I should have done better. But at times I do. I keep think this has to be a dream - but I know it isn't.

We are preparing to sell our house and move to the city. It is a time that I would be leaning on her and she would be cheering me up telling me its ok. She'd be here if she could. I take some comfort in knowing that I hugged her the last time I saw her. That I know I told her I loved her and cared about her. She knew she was closer to me than my family.

Today I will keep busy, going through things, throwing stuff out, packing what I can, making a few repairs where possible, and painting. We moved in 5 days. I believe we will be ready.

Don't know how I feel. Lost is a good word. Numb would work to an extent, but I am not fully numb, just sad. I just want to stop crying, remember her with smiles and laughter, not with tears.

It rained today

It rained here today. First time in about 60 days that we got any rain at all.
Normally, raining isn't a big deal. However, the added glum of the day didn't help keep my thoughts from drifting to Maggie's death. I still find it hard to believe that she is gone.

I have to continue through every day life. Its hard not to think about her at times.

I have been trying to plan for the fall. I will be teaching APUS History and I need to have the year planned out. I think I have the year roughly mapped out, I don't have the actual lesson done.

Trying to keep busy. Tomorrow I am going to a workshop.

Let the healing begin, please!

After a long week, we made it back to our place yesterday.

On Monday I went to the private visitation, Tuesday the public visitation, and on Wed I took part of the services. I was a pallbearer. I couldn't have not been. I wanted to be a part of her services.

I still can't believe she is gone. It is so surreal. She left behind six kids and a grieving husband. What to do from here?

Visitation

I am preparing to leave for the visitation portion of Margaret's services. I have entered the numb stage, but I doubt that will last long. Tomorrow is the service and Thursday is the scheduled day to return to Texas.

This still feels like a dream.

Just a matter of days now

We have arrived back in my hometown. The drive itself wasn't a bad one, really. We were lucky enough to miss the bad weather by delaying our morning start and were even able to stop at a restaurant along the way and have lunch with a friend who had, until yesterday, only been someone we knew through pictures, blogs, emails, and facebook posts.

Yesterday, after we arrived, I checked us in at the hotel and then headed to Margaret's house. It felt odd to be there without her, but I wasn't uncomfortable. I spent several hours with her family. Just talking and being there.

Before I left, her husband and I talked. I cleared the air about some mistaken thoughts he had. I didn't want him thinking I didn't like him, as he had. In fact, I didn't really know him. The only things I know of him, I learned through Margaret. I asked him what he needed me to do. I am going with them to see Margaret today. To see that they have prepared her right. I can't believe I am doing this. She was too young.

There was nothing anyone could do. Her brain aneurysm was too severe in the worst place for them to do anything. When she passed out, she was already gone to us.

The next few days will be hard. I am hoping the numbness part kicks in to help me get through this. Being around her kids helps.

Long Trip Home

We have set out on the long trip home that I never thought I would have to take. I am going back home to bury my best friend. She was taken from us way too young and too fast.

Some of the things I have learned over the past 36 hours:

1. Life is short, sweet, and needs to be cherished.
2. Remember the important things are friends and family.
3. Go out of your way to say hi, to text whats up, to tell someone you love them, you might not get another chance.
4. Let pictures be taken of you! You should not be so vain as to keep these memories from your loved ones.

These are just a few of the things, I know I will learn more as the days go by.

Margaret and I were best friends in high school. In fact, we actually lived in the same small, one room apartment for a little while. Then we were neighbors for a little while. She dated a guy I had known since I was three or so.
I joined the Navy, got married, moved to the East Coast and lost touch. We touched base ever so often, but email hadn't come along, and long distant phone calls were expensive.
We finally touched base again about two years ago, and never looked back. We began our friendship again as if we had never had any time apart. Of course there have been changes. She now has six kids, I have two, she is married, I divorced my husband, and remarried a woman. Margaret wasn't fazed a bit.
She met K online, chatted with her through facebook and on the phone and when visits occurred it was like no time had lapsed. She accepted me for me. Always had. She was glad to see me happy. Had told K she could see the love between us and she was grateful that I had finally found someone who truly made me happy. Margaret was my life friend.
Margaret has now passed through my life. I miss her. I am going to find a way to make sure the last text messages we exchanged never go away.
I am thankful that I had only seen her in April. Not 45 days before she passed away. The last thing I did in person was hug her and tell her I loved her.

The last thing I will get to do is to tell her I love her still, tell her I will miss her every day for the rest of my life, and then do the hardest thing I have ever done - bury her.

Then what?

June 10 - SUCKS!!!

Other than my wife, I have had VERY few people in my life that have accepted me fully for who I am and did not try to change me. I have had few people I would call my closest friends, let alone best friends.

One of my closest, long time best friends was suddenly taken from this world this morning at 2:28 am. She was taken away much too early and much too fast. I didn't get to tell her goodbye, didn't get to tell her one last time thank you for being there, thank you for every thing, and that I loved her. I do believe she knew it, which is very helpful. I have made sure to tell her in the past on several occasions and the last time I saw her in person I know I told her.

Tomorrow I am flying back to our hometown to pay my respects and to hopefully be a part of her services. I am saying good bye to a HUGE part of my life, how do you do that?

Another day

Another day of reading down. I can't believe its actually a Friday. It doesn't feel like it. Today I read about 100 essays. Tomorrow I will read another 100 - 125. This will be my days for the next 5 days. Knowing I have a working weekend in fron of me is probably why it doesn't feel like a Friday to me.

I was able to attend a major league baseball game today. It wasn't too bad. Got to see the Reds play the Dodgers. I am hoping to possibly see the Cubs play before I head back to Texas.

Need more sleep, that I have been able to determine rather quickly.

Cincy

I am in Cincinnati. I will be here for another full week. Why? I am attending the AP Reader's conference here. I will be grading about 100 essays a day for the next 6 days. I don't know if I have ever graded that many.

I do know that I have never spent this many days away from K. I miss her already and I have only been away one night. Eight nights is going to tough. Every morning I am waking up at 5:30 our time. I don't want t get use to the time, completely, because I want to be able to slide back into our home time zone easily.

I am meeting a lot of new people from through the country. One teacher I met today is a Navy wife who is currently stationed in Guam. It took her 24 hours to fly here. I thought it was neat that they brought someone from there here. It helps contribute to the diversity of the readers.

One thing that kinda stinks is that just as I finally get to a point where I am learning more about the exam I am being given a different course. In the fall I am going to begin teaching AP US History and regular US History. I am happy to be going back to a course that I really enjoy, but at the same time I am nervous about the differences in the tests. I will be doing a lot of studying over the summer, as time allows, and going to a training session to get some more information. I just want to be ready to teach the course in the best possible way.

I am grateful for the experience, but will be happy to be in the arms of my love again.

Vacation yet?

I am ready for my vacation to start. Where is it?
Oh yeah, that's right, I am working through most of it once it actually does begin.
I am tired. Seriously tired, but all I can think about is all the work that lies ahead. About the planning I still need to do for the classes I will be teaching in the fall. I realize it is, in the fall, but I have a full school year of new classes that I will be teaching and need to plan out. The scary thought is I am intending to truly plan out the entire year. I want to do it right.

US History is something I enjoy, or at least I use to. I am sure hoping I find I still enjoy it when I have to begin planning to teach it.

I have things I am attending in June that will take up two full weeks. Then in July I have another full week of training I am going to. The big difference with the one July is that K is going to be going with me. We will be spending the week in Austin. Our plan is to stay up there an extra few days after the conference ends in order to get a long weekend together.

The summer is going to be busy and I am already feeling it.

More training...

Another week of training has been added to my summer schedule. In July, after we move, after the two youngest are at the father's home for their visit, I will be heading to Austin for a week to get some training for my new subject next year. I have finally been given APUS History. I have my dream classes next year. I will be teaching US History and APUS History.

What this means, however, is that I will be doing a lot of reading over the summer and lesson planning. I need to recharge my US History knowledge. I have to take it out, dust it off, and hope I can remember everything I feel like I have forgotten. :)

K is happy about this latest schedule though. What this means is she gets to go to Austin with me for a week and the only thing we have to pay for is her food. My hotel and transportation costs are covered by the district. She loves going to Austin. We seem to be able to relax up there. We can just be ourselves up there without having to worry about someone paying any attention to us.

I can hardly believe my school year is winding down. This time next week I will be done for this year. I fly out to Ohio Wed. morning. June will be busy. July will have its busy time as well. I have a feeling my summer is going to go by MUCH faster than I want. I must take time out for myself this summer as well. Re-energize for the new school year. There are several new changes coming at us in the next 3 - 4 months. I must be energized enough to face them.

Another school year closing down fast

Today was the last day of school for the students who have passed all of their state mandated tests, all of their classes, and have not been absent more than the legally allowed limit.

I am not sure how many students, exactly, that made the cut, but I do not foresee us having very many seniors on campus tomorrow. We should have about 1/2 the number of students we normally have. The students have until June 6th. I only have until May 31.
June 1 I fly out to Ohio for the AP Reader conference. I'll be there for a week.

We signed the lease on the new house. We will begin moving in July 1. I am nervous and scared, but its a new chapter. We are trying to make a move that helps everyone out. The next couple of months will be nerve wracking, exciting, scary, joyous, saddening, and yet it will be ok because we are together.

Walking a thin line

I just finished haggling over visitation time with my ex for the kids this summer. I feel like I just had a long negotiation with a car salesman. UGH!

I am not about to give him exactly what he wants, because he thinks we are just waiting to work around him. Wrong!

I also did not want to let it out of the bag that we are moving into town during that month. He doesn't need to know until 30 days after the move is complete. (legally) Besides, he didn't tell me he was moving and didn't tell me he had moved until the kids mentioned it. So I am only treating him as he treats me.

He wanted them the first week of July. I don't think so. We will be moving. I don't want the kids gone while we move and come back to a different house. Moving is going to be tough enough for our youngest. That would be wrong. At least now, after negotiations, (HA! I was going to get my way regardless.) they will be leaving during the 2nd week of July and coming back the first week of August. Enough time for us to get the new house comfy and hopefully the old house sold.

We will be signing the lease on the new place this week. Hoping to get through the moving process without emotionally ripping myself apart.

New chapter?

I found access to the account. Last time I wrote I tried to update my account to be associated with my new email address and it the process did something where I locked myself out. It took some time, but I got back in.

Since I last wrote K and I have been trying to decide if we should move closer to where I work. Our oldest two at home are going to be going to that high school, therefore they will be riding into work with me everyday. The drive is about 30 minutes each way. The gas prices aren't going down anytime soon. K goes to grad classes over there - 45 minutes each way. So we are spending a whole lot of time in the car, spending a lot of cash on gas, and not close to anything where we are now.

We, however, own our home here. Well, we are making payments to the mortgage company. Once we move, we can try to sell, but we can't carry two payments, so if we make the move, we jump and have to hope we can sell fast.

We have found two homes we like. One is within walking distance of the school. The other is about a 10 minute drive, but is 800 sq. feet bigger, and $300 a month less expensive. The bigger, less expensive house, is actually in a very good neighborhood, but when K did a search on the property, the owners owe $9000 in taxes and when I did a search on the company trying to rent it - they aren't the same people and the company Home Advocate Trustees, seems to be slightly shady. I don't want to move the family into a home we may get pushed out of.

The smaller, more expensive home, is in a great location, but the layout is, well, odd. We can get a two year lease on the smaller home, so it would see us through any fall out from the house here, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the layout.

We need to make a decision soon. They would like us to move in July 1. We have to decide.

A new vehicle... a better feel?

Is it strange to say that by getting a truck again I feel better? More like me?

Yeah, its ok to say it, I know it is strange. However, I can't deny I feel better having a truck to drive again.

K was very supportive, although cautious. I could see it. However, I did show her that I was saving money on the interest rate and I think she saw that I just wanted it.

Now I get to start playing with upgrades. :)

How to make the truck unique to me. I am not going to go all nutty, K wouldn't let me even if I tried. However, a few things here and there she will be ok with. When things need replaced I will try to upgrade them to better made and better looking things.

Spring break is coming to an end fast! How do I hold it off? I am not ready to return to work. Not yet. I still have so much I want to do around the house, so much to do to prepare to go back to the classroom. I am just not ready.

I am not ready, I will miss time with K.

Robotics??

Yeah, robotics. I am now the robotics faculty sponsor at the high school I teach at.

I have been so busy lately. I am not getting home much before 8 every night and am working on Saturdays as well. Today was one of the first days in two weeks that I haven't talked a great deal about robotics. Most days, even while I am at school trying to teach the actual subjects I am responsible for, I am surrounded by robotics stuff.

Please do not get me wrong, I am really interested in it and I enjoy it, but I need more time. There is not enough time in the day to do everything this huge project requires.