Settling in

We are finally settling in, I think.

The extra money from my retirement account has arrived and we have been able to catch up on bills and purchase many of the things we have been putting off, but need. Being able to feel relaxed about our money issues, makes the move feel more settling and right.

In 10 days we will head to RI for our first family Thanksgiving. It isn't our first Thanksgiving, but it will be the first time that we will be in the company of so much family for the holidays.

We have made it through the first nine weeks of the school year here and the holidays are fast approaching. We are home.

The First Nine Weeks is Over

The first nine weeks at my new school is coming to a close. Today and tomorrow are teacher work days, days we are to use to finish up grading, input grades, and prep for the next nine weeks. I am taking advantage of today, here in my classroom, to get things organized a little better, finish grades, and begin to prep for the next nine weeks.

This past week I have begun to feel more at ease with myself and where I am. It has taken a little while for me to feel more at home. The stress of money and settling in here has been tough, but I am finally feeling like I am where I am suppose to be.

The hurricane came in north of us, thankfully. I feel for those who were hit in the New Jersey and New York areas. It has to be tough for them. I can't begin to imagine what it is like. I think being here has helped us realize that there are a few things we need to make sure we get, for the just in case. A generator is something that will come in handy if the light happen to go out and from what we have heard and seen, it is very possible.

We have been able to get some of the things we have been needing, pay off/catch up with the bills we have had to neglect in order to stay caught up on other things, and we are more relaxed here than we have been.

I don't know what is ahead of us, by I feel more comfortable about facing it than I have in a long while.

A good day ends with a visit to ER

Ker and I had planned to spend a few hours together, without kids yesterday. She had found this really cool National Park that has an awesome waterfall, so we chose that as our destination.

On the way up there I over shot the exit by one, not a big deal right? Just go to the next exit, turn around and get back on the interstate. HA!! That isn't what happens when the exit after the one you should have gotten off on is George Washington Parkway. Completely tree canopied, fall colors, and NO TURN AROUND AREAS in sight.

Not a problem. We aren't held to a time table when it is just the two of us. So we travel for a few miles and find another park, Turkey Run. I figured that there is bound to be a way to go back the way we came from the park.

We spent the next hour or so exploring the park. We got out of the car and hiked down to the Potomac River. It was an awesome view and we had a great time. The hile back up was rough, but we both enjoyed it. Still, we have a waterfall to go see.

Off to our original destination.

Great drive, awesome company, beautiful views. We spend another hour at the waterfall taking a variety of pictures. We are really enjoying our time together, we always do.

As we get ready to leave, literally. We are heading back to the parking lot, when another couple decides they need to go past us in the opposite direction. One things leads to another, Ker loses her balance and she falls. She hits the back side of her head against the rock wall as she falls. She doesn't pass out, but she does cut the back of her head some. We get back to the Visitor's Center and they call for the park EMT. The place an ice pack on it and check her out.

Fast forward 6 hours later and Ker isn't doing so well any longer. She is nauseous and has vomited. This is when the decision to go to the ER is made.

One CAT scan and xray later it is a definite concussion.

We had a great day together, even if it did end up with us in the ER together. It was a great day because it could have been worse. I am thankful that my day stayed a great day!

Life continues

We have now been in Viginia for over two months and although we have had some set backs, moving here was a good move for us.

Learning the new rules of the profession has been tough. I know I can teach, but learning the new expectations, the new language of the district, the state standards, and trying to get to know the department has taken a physical toll. I am tired more than I can remember being in a long time. Trying to get use to the time changes has been difficult. Not losing the hour, but the schedule change. I have to rework when I sleep and that hasn't been easy. K is a night person by nature and she hasn't changed that. She isn't adjusting he schedule. Learning to sleep at a new hour is rough.

I am enjoying my new work place, for the most part. The paper work sucks! But I am getting use to it, I think.

Teaching is still the same, everything else has changed

I am in a new school district and at times I feel as if I have changed professions.
My classroom is still just that, my classroom, but so much around me has changed. There have been a few times, I admit, that I have wondered if I am good enough to teach these kids. They are different. Yes, they are still teens, but honestly, they are different from the students I have taught previously.

The protocols around me are different. If I can just get a handle on the changes, maybe I will feel more settled in. I don't know.

October already

For the first time in years, October 1 has come along with temperatures below 80. Fall is really in the air. Not only has this brought in an environment change, but a psychological change as well. It is hard to explain, but the change in the weather that is happening is also creating a change for us. We will all be experiencing more new things in the months to come. It is exciting, but it does leave me a little apprehensive. What is in front of us? We agree that it will be good for us.

Along with the weather change has been a financial change. The first paycheck of my career here has finally arrived! The rough times aren't fully behind us yet, but now that we have had an influx of money we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We have been worrying about paying things and now, many of those things have been paid, at least in portion. We do have a long term plan to make it easier and by Thanksgiving we know it will be easier.

School is going well. I am beginning to get a better handle on things there. Adjusting to the new atmosphere, the new routines, the new people, the new demands, and a ton of little things has been challenging. However, I think I am finally beginning to settle in, to a point. I am still trying to find my rhythm when it comes to the clock. It is difficult to adjust my internal schedule. Lesson planning takes time, grading takes time, and with there being a whole new schedule to gt use to, all of those things adjust as well. I am up every morning at 6. Which doesn't seem all that bad, except that it is still dark out. That is taking some getting use to. I actually start teaching my first class before the sun fully rises. I am finished teaching by 1pm every single day. That is VERY odd.

There are adjustments being made and there will be more ahead. There have been some pitfalls along the way, but when we survey they past few months we are still very secure and happy with the decision to move. It has done us well so far.

I have met the parents!!

Tonight was Back to School night. I was extremely worried, honestly. I was concerned that I would live up to the expectations that had been set up for me.

This is the first year that I have all honors kids and they have parents that are involved. They are the parents that will question the teacher, endlessly. They are the parents that you must be one step ahead and be fully prepared for the unexpected question.

However horrible it is, I enjoyed it! I think I actually connected with the parents. I can walk away from this night knowing I made a positive connection with the parents.

The administration was in here for a good majority of the time and I do believe they enjoyed the music video I showed the parents.

I feel confident in declaring this was a success!!

First week done

Our first week of school is done. It was a short week, but it was a rough one physically and emotionally.

Being on my feet all day long is tough and my paycheck from Texas was short. We are not happy campers when it comes to our finances. We have had to make some tough decisions. There isn't enough money to pay rent, the bills, and eat.

 I tried to get a loan from the new credit union. They offered new to the district teachers transition loans.  They made it sound like we would be able to receive $3500, but in reality it was up to $3500.  We were only given $500. That isn't enough to cover our expenses. We are being creative.

L has yet to return to work. We are both ready to beat her. She seems to feel no responsibility for herself or to help us even though we are feeding her, taking her toand from school, housing her, and just plain ole dealing with her. Neither of us are sure what to do. We have talked to her until we are our in the face. We have yelled. We have tried to explain how tough things are. Yet, NOTHING!

What are we suppose to do?

We look forward to the fact that it is only another 3 weeks before I get paid, but we do know that it will not be an easy October. We will have to figue out how to double pay on all of our bills. It will not be an easy couple of months.

We know how we are going to get out of it, but it will take time before we get it. I am going to have to withdraw money from my retirement account. The money will be used to catch up on everything. It isn't the best option, but it is the only one we have.

Neither of us regret the move, but it isn't what we expected yet.

Students arriving soon

I have been working within the district for two full weeks now. Seems impossible that it has been two weeks, but there are no more work days left before the students begin classes on Tuesday.

The adjustment is happening, slowly. Trying to get use to new terminology, new procedures, different ideas on things, and of course the new environment. One thing that hasn't changed, I still don't feel ready for the first day. My classroom doesn't quite feel like me yet, but in time it will.

Ker and the kids came up to help me finish what I could today. It was nice having them there, makes it feel more like mine.

The move, so far, has proved tone a good one. We have encountered some issues, but we are working with them the best we can. No regrets leaving Texas.

Couldn't hide from stress

This move began as a positive one, it still is, overall. However, we are beginning to find the stress points.

I will be bringing home less money. That isn't something we can fix.
L's Dad decided not to approve her continuing on his health insurance. She found out when she went to go get her new card. There isn't anything we can do about it and we can't afford to help her either.

The money is a huge thing. I am not sure how we are going to be able to afford to live here with making some changes to our finances. I am going to have to revisit our internet and television stuff and try to cut the expenses.

I have started back to work, but my first paycheck is a month and a half away. I am not sure what we are going to do. I thought I would have a transition loan. Not sure if that is going to go through for us. Its a wait and see thing. I hate waiting.

Space issues

I am sitting in our "office space." It was suppose to a bedroom for one of the boys, but it is too small. This whole house has a shortage of space. It is taking some interesting solutions to fix the problems.

The house is two levels and you would think there would be enough space. Technically, mathematically, there is enough space. The problems and issues arise when you take a look at the way this space is divided up. it is choppy to say the least.

Take the master bedroom. We have a closet, not a walk-in, but a closet. We have NEVER not had a walk-in closet. Where do we put all the clothes? In a dresser, you would think. Ummm, yeah, unless you notice that our master bedroom is only 10x11. That is it. We have downgraded our bed to a queen sized one in order to free up more space, but still. We only have one dresser right now. We are going to have to go out and buy a second one.

This bedroom, that we are now using as office space is a direct result of the choppiness of this place. There is no other place in this entire house that will work as an office space that will also be able to be used to store my sewing stuff.

The positive thing is that there is space downstairs that can be used for the kids living areas. The girls are sharing the largest room in the house down there. It also has access to the outside and I am not thrilled about that, but they need the space. There is an awkward space down there that the boys are going to use for their overflow stuff. They have their own "office space" now. There is a large area down there that they will be able to use for a family room and rec area. So that will be helpful.

The move has been positive, but there have been pitfalls as well.

It seems that after all of the new deductions that will be taken out of my paycheck I will actually be bringing less home that I had before. I am not thrilled about that at all. Scary, actually. It is more expensive to live here and I had thought that the increase in pay would absorb the increase in costs, fully. But it isn't. I tried to lower some of our expenses before we left. For instance, the Rav. I traded in the truck for a more economical form of transportation. Our monthly payments are going to be less and it definitely doesn't eat up the amount of gas that the truck did.

During the move we had to leave behind a great deal of things. They just wouldn't fit into the moving van. We had to purchase everyone new mattresses once we got here, oh and bed frames. Only person who had a bed frame still was C.  We think we got a pretty good deal though. Everyone has a bed and a mattress and it cost us about $1100. Now, that is $1100 we didn't budget for, but it was money we had to spend.

Ker says I have been happier since we moved. I feel moved at ease right now. I am feeling stress, but I feel more at ease about things over all. I am not sure how to explain that.   

One week in Virginia

Our first full week in Virginia is officially up tomorrow. Now I know we haven't been in our home a full week until Monday, but a week ago tomorrow we crossed into Virginia to start our new chapter here.

In has been an eventful, well busy week. Eventful would mean we had a lot of different things happening, but in reality we were busy trying to get the new house ready for us. It's not that it is in horrible shape, but there are several things that we are trying to change to make it more livable for us.

The people who lived here before us had a dog, so our first order of business is to try to get the dog smell out of here. That isn't easy to do since there is carpet.

Our first order of business was to get our things off the moving truck. That was a very tiring and slow process. In fact, it took us three days to do it because we took a day off in the middle to work on pulling carpet and laying down tile in the master bedroom.

I have been sore most of the week. However, it has been a good sore. I can see progress being made on the house and we are finally getting rooms looking like we live here.

Waiting on Internet service to be installed later this week. Have to get the office space ready. We have noticed there is a definitely space issue for us here. The layout is odd for us right now. Virginia has been treating us well. 

Driving a moving van

We have finally made it into Virginia. After driving about 8 hours every day the past 3 days, we are now about an hour or so away from our final destination.

During the drive I have been driving a 30' long moving van that has almost everything  own in it, plus the trailer that has the Rav on it. I have not physically gone out and measured it, but I will assume I am easily driving about 40' of metal. I am tired. Physically and mentally. The seats aren't movable, so my shoulders are hurting from the way I have to sit and the lack of support they have had.

Mentally it is tough becauseI have had to be constantly on top of where the trailer is on the road behind me. Oh and I forgot to mention the 11 year old who has been beside me the entire route. He has not been too bad, really. Once he realized I couldn't look at whatever it was he wanted to show me or ask me about because I was preoccupied with trying to make sure. Didn't run off the road, side swipe someone, or worse,not be able to stop. Those baking times suck!

Tomorrow wwe di be into our new home town and begin to unload at our new home. These next couple of days will bring many new things for all of us. There are a lot of good things ahead for us. 

Texas in the rearview mirror

As we  leave Texas we are closing a very long chapter in our lives.

When I first moved to Texas, 14 1/2 year ago, I was married to Rob. Rob was in the Navy and we were transferred here from South Carolina. Our daughter has just turned 1 and I was wondering what the hell we had gotten ourselves into by moving here. I felt like I was in a foreign country.

Fifty-percent of the population, at least, spoke another language. There were advertisements in Spanish, every where. There were people I could not understand because they were speaking a foreign language. There were so many things I had to get use to.

My mother and sister were living with us when we first got here. That only lasted a few months.

So, much has happened to us all here.

I never expected to meet Ker. Never would have imagined this would have developed the way they have. She came into my life as a friend, but became so much more.

Texas has had a positive place in our lives, but we both felt like it wasn't the place we were suppose to be. We started to find our way out of here many years ago. We had always said when the chance to move happens, we will take it. Neither of us are leaving with ill feeling towards the area, just the feeling that it has run its course for us.

Thank you Texas for bringing so many wonderful people into my life, some of them for only a few years, but several for a life time. Thank you Texas for the wonderful memories, the education,the career start, and the family. This chapter of our lives was a great one, but one that we need to move on from.

Here, we build a strong foundation for our relationship and for our family. Our family needs space to grow,our relationship is ready for more than Texas seems to be able to offer.

As I look in the rear view mirror at Texas I am smiling, I am teary eyed, I am proud, I am a better person for having been here.

And we're off.....

First night out of Corpus is now behind us. We only have about 1200 miles ahead of us. Not bad until you realize that with the truck and trailer I can only average about 60 mph. Maybe it will get better once I am use to the truck.

We left so much behind that we didn't expect to have to leave, but we need to look ahead and not behind. Things can be replaced, our new home is awaiting us.

Last Day....

Today we have been tying up loose ends, well running errands. We needed hair cuts and had to stop in at the bank to get the account number for our car loan. Had to make sure we knew it before we left.

I am trying not to worry too much about the loading up. I think it is just going to get to a point where we are putting loose things into totes and will be done with it. Tonight we will make sure all of the heavy things are ready to go and then work through the kinks in the morning.

The hope is that we can get everything loaded up in 2 hours. Hoping that doesn't seem unrealistic, especially since we have it all ready and if everyone who is suppose to be here shows then we should be able to get it done fairly quickly.

K and I have done really well through this. Which is awesome!! Moving is one of the big stresses in a relationship and we have been handling it together rather than snipping at each other. We haven't been perfect, but we have bot had any huge arguments at all. That has really helped the process feel easier.

We will finish what we can tonight - can't do much outside until the sun goes down, and then tomorrow we are on our way north.

Moving...

As we are packing up our belongings into boxes, totes, bags, and suitcase, it amazes me how much things seem to multiply. Seriously. As we are packing more seems to appear. We honestly have thrown a good amount of things away, yet more and more is appearing.

In less than 24 hours we will be on the road headed north out of here. At some point in the next 24 hours we have to get to a point where we throw away even more. It is honestly a little tough looking at some things trying to decide if we trash it or keep it. Many things we are looking at for the first time in a year. If we haven't missed it I guess we should trash it. Unless it is a picture.

Wishing we had family closer who could come help, but then again, if family was closer, we wouldn't be moving.

Two days left

We only have two fill days left to prep for our move. It isn't a whole lot of time, which is good and bad.

Starting a new chapter is something we are both looking forward. Actually I think it is something we are all looking forward to. Is two days enough time to really get this house finished up? We have made progress and I am sure it is better off than I think it is.

In the last three nights I have not gotten much sleep. I have been thinking about everything that is coming and because of that I can't seem to shut my brain down at night. The lack of sleep is not good. I have to be well rested for this drive ahead of us. Thursday starts a busy week for us. I have to ready for it.

I have my fears and concerns, but I am prepared to make the changes. We are prepared.

Productive day

Today was productive, not only because we did get some packing up done, but because I genially took it easy. I let myself realize that I can't continue to stree about the move. I have to enjoy some of this too. We are going through a positive change and. Need to enjoy some of it too. That does not mean there won't be stressful moments, and that I won't feel it getting to me at times. But what it means is that I need to give myself a break.

So much left

We have actually done a great deal of packing and prepping today. The master bathroom is done, the office is just about cleaned out, C's bed is in the process of being disassembled, the girls' room is getting there, and N has packed several boxes of things from his room. We are getting there, slowly. We still have four days available for us to pack up. Wednesday will be a busy day for us no matter what we do. I need to realize that things will get done. We can handle this. It is the right thing for us all.

Saturday before the move

It is Saturday... 1:45am. I shouldn't be awake, but I am. There is a lot on my mind right now and I just can't seem to drift off to sleep. I will, it's just going to take time. We have 5 days left to pack everything up and be ready to load up the moving van. The sixth day is load up and leave day. As I look around the house I see so much left to do and prepare for moving. I know we have done a good deal. We have several boxes packed up, we have disposed of a great deal of trash, given away boxes of clothes and furniture that was in the garage, and we have really tried to make sure the breakables are packed right Southey don't break. I have a job waiting for me, it looks like we will have a house, I will have my wife by my side, and our kids with us, so why can't I just relax about this move? Logically I know there is only so much I can prepare for. Logically I know I am a damn good teacher. Why is it I can't let the anxiety of it all go? What is it about this move keeps me from sleeping, from relaxing. What is it that is worrying me so much that my stomach has episodes where I feel like I am about to go over that first large drop on a roller coaster.(which, by the way, I hate.) I worry we won't have enough boxes. I worry we won't have enough help on Thursday morning. I worry about the long drive. I worry about the kids adjusting to a new place. I worry about me adjusting to new everything. I have been in South Texas for 14 years now. This is where I had my son, ended a marriage, started a new life with Ker, started my career, built a house, earned a reputation as a good teacher. This is where I have built a life. This was a good place to stop over, but we never felt like it was the place to stay. We have both always said it felt like we weren't in the right place yet. We weren't in a bad place, just not the right place. Moving is giving us a new chapter. I don't want to say fresh start, because we aren't starting over, we are continuing to build. This move is a new chapter for our relationship and for our family. I think everyone wants a feeling of a clean slate. That is what this move does. Places us all some place where we all experience firsts together. Why am I so worried? Because I want to do the right things for my family. I want this move to go smooth enough that the kids aren't stressed by the physical part of the moving. The emotional part is bad enough. I don't want my marriage to feel the stress of the move. Ker says I don't have to be strong all the time. I know, because I'm not. I just don't say I am worried as often as I am. Part of me figures if I ignore it, the feelings will pass faster. The next five days will go by slow and yet faster than we are expecting. By keeping busy most of the day, it will go by at a pretty fast clip, but on Wed, I know I am going to think damn we should have gotten more done before today. So here is to five days left in Texas. Here is to a new chapter starting for us.

One week and counting....

We have one week left here in Texas. Tomorrow begins our last ___day here. Like last Thursday, last Friday..... Although I am nervous, almost borderline scared, I am excited too. I am doing something I never thought would happen. I am getting my family out of Texas.

The Adventure Continues

Today Ker made contact with the owners of a potentioal rental for us. She is nervous, but these next steps we take make the upcoming move even more real for us. We really would like to get a place rented before we move. It would save us a great deal of time, fear, and stress. Being able to move directly into a place the day we get there would be awesome. I will only have two weeks from the day we get there to the day I begin work. So many little things to do. We are still seriously looking at getting rid of the truck before we move. It would be us some moving expenses and it would be less expensive for me to commute to work in a car, rather than the truck. There are a great deal of changes in front of us. We are excited, even if we are nervous.

Toes....

Today I allowed pain to be inflicted on me. I had both big toenails removed. No I didn't do this because it was on my bucket list or because I had nothing better to do. My toes nails have taken a beating in the last few years. One of them nada computer drop on it a few years back. Turns out that this allowed a fungus to set it and my toe nails began growing at an angle. The pressure had been increasing and with the upcoming move I needed to get it done. I am now in a little pain. Yes I have pain meds, but it only takes the edge off some. Ker says I am obviously groggy. I just feel even, except the pain that will hit and fade away. I won't be packing anything the next couple of days. They rest of today I have to keep off my feet and keep them up. Monday, if I feel up to it, we will begin looking at cars. We are looking at getting rid of the truck before we move. I will be commuting a little more there and the truck won't be very economical for us.

Look, so I am 40

I turned 40 yesterday. I don't feel any different. Things around me haven't changed just because I turned 40. Is this normal? I will assume that it is. That turning 40 is a milestone because people aren't sure what else in life is considered a milestone. By 40 you should _________. Fill in your own blank. Don't let someone else tell you when something should be done by or should be done at all. We all mature at our own pace, we all learn and grow amour own pace, so why wouldn't we hit milestones at our own pace? Things are changing for me and my family. Big changes. We will be moving to another state in less than a month. It isn't even a close state, it's 1600 mikes away from where we are now. Our weather will be changing. We will actually encounter all four seasons. My job is changing. My children are changing. They are growing up so fast. I haven't hit any milestone, just becauseI turned 40 yesterday. My milestone is that I went out and found a position with a school and school district that want me for what I have to offer. They see what I can bring them. I have looked and have seen what they can offer me and what the move will offer my family. It is a good move. Now we have to get the mechanics of the move happening. Find a house, pack, prep to move. There is so much to do. I don't want to do to mucho that we feel uncomfortable the rest of the time we are here, but I also do not want to wait until the last minute so that we are rushing to pack everything up. My milestone, is a family milestone. We are starting a new chapter for us, all of us.

We are moving!

It has finally happened. I have been offered a position in Virginia, near DC. After talking, we decided that moving is inthebest interests of the family and my career, so I have accepted the position. I finished my last day with my current school district today and am scheduled to begin work in Virginia on the 20th of August. In between now and then. Have to execute a move from here to there. Only half way across the country. About 1600 miles, give or take a few. LOL We are excited, nervous, and possibly a little scared. It will be the first time either of us have moved this far without the Navy being involved. We know we have made the right choice. We only hope to continue making the right choices.

Break over?

Spent most of this spring break sick. Which quite frankly, sucks. I had hoped to do more. More of everything, truthfully. I wanted to do more with K, wanted to do more with the kids, wanted to do more with my school stuff, so just - MORE.

I am not looking forward to going back to school so soon. I know I have the weekend, but I also know that the weekend is going to go by too fast. Way too fast. I had hoped to do some things around the house, but haven't felt well enough to do it.

The one positive thing I have in my thoughts right now is that my student teacher is going to begin teaching more of my classes and this will allow me to begin doing more of my own planning and organizing. I full plan on taking advantage of it. I will begin organizing all of my files, trashing things I don't need, begin compiling stuff for next year, and the biggest thing - get my website stuff up and ready to go. I want to get as much stuff up and online as possible. Lets see how far I get.

Still a teacher?

According to my paycheck and where I go everyday, yes I am still a teacher. But there have been many times this school year where I have questioned if I really am a good teacher.

I really do enjoy my career choice, but this year has been a very tough year for me. It doesn't feel like I have really taught this year, not like I have wanted or like I expect of myself. I know that I am my harshest critic, but this year I haven't thrown enough energy into the classroom That is my opinion. I ave had so many thins going on outside the classroom I really wonder if I am doing my students justice.

Ok, I know I am not. Now I have fix that, but how? I have been pulled in so many different directions that I don't ever feel like I have the energy to do everything it takes. I want to work smarter, not harder. I want the students to think n a deeper level and not be bored. I want to incorporate more technology in m teaching. I want to teach again. Truly teach.

Today I sat down and thought about lesson planning. My first thought, honestly, was where do I start? I couldn't believe it, but I felt at a total loss as to where to begin. I know, maybe I am feeling overwhelmed. I have been doing a great deal outside the classroom and my mind hasn't been focused just on the class.

I have taught so many different subjects that I have been going through first year teacher issues my entire career. Maybe I am suffering burnout because of it. How do I fix it?

Galveston for the New Year

K and I are in Galveston. We decided to spend the last week of 2011 here and ring in 2012.

It has been an interesting week for the end of a long year. This year was a year of firsts and a year of loss. The hope is that 2012 brings  sense of renewal with it. Maybe a sense of purpose or a sense of belonging.

The view from our hotel balcony.

K and I have been talking that we both feel unsettled where we are. It can be summed up that we are where we are for now, but it doesn't feel like it is the right place. We aren't in a horrible place, it just not where we feel we fully fit. Sound strange? I know. It makes us both feel a bit awkward, but it helped to talk about it. The school I teach at is great about us. Fully accepting and all, but the state we are in doesn't allow us to feel relaxed about being open. We are in a bubble and the fear of going outside that bubble to find a place we really want to be is something we are both wrestling with.

We have a senior and junior in college, a senior and freshman in high school, and then our youngest is n 5th grade. We have realized there is never a right time to uproot and move, but how long do we have to wait to feel home? To enjoy our surroundings even when we aren't vacationing? Is that possible?

I guess it can be summed up that we are going to be looking for our place in the world this year. Where we fit into the puzzle and aren't trying to figure the puzzle out. I plan to be healthier at the end of the year than the beginning of the year.