Toes....

Today I allowed pain to be inflicted on me. I had both big toenails removed. No I didn't do this because it was on my bucket list or because I had nothing better to do. My toes nails have taken a beating in the last few years. One of them nada computer drop on it a few years back. Turns out that this allowed a fungus to set it and my toe nails began growing at an angle. The pressure had been increasing and with the upcoming move I needed to get it done. I am now in a little pain. Yes I have pain meds, but it only takes the edge off some. Ker says I am obviously groggy. I just feel even, except the pain that will hit and fade away. I won't be packing anything the next couple of days. They rest of today I have to keep off my feet and keep them up. Monday, if I feel up to it, we will begin looking at cars. We are looking at getting rid of the truck before we move. I will be commuting a little more there and the truck won't be very economical for us.

Look, so I am 40

I turned 40 yesterday. I don't feel any different. Things around me haven't changed just because I turned 40. Is this normal? I will assume that it is. That turning 40 is a milestone because people aren't sure what else in life is considered a milestone. By 40 you should _________. Fill in your own blank. Don't let someone else tell you when something should be done by or should be done at all. We all mature at our own pace, we all learn and grow amour own pace, so why wouldn't we hit milestones at our own pace? Things are changing for me and my family. Big changes. We will be moving to another state in less than a month. It isn't even a close state, it's 1600 mikes away from where we are now. Our weather will be changing. We will actually encounter all four seasons. My job is changing. My children are changing. They are growing up so fast. I haven't hit any milestone, just becauseI turned 40 yesterday. My milestone is that I went out and found a position with a school and school district that want me for what I have to offer. They see what I can bring them. I have looked and have seen what they can offer me and what the move will offer my family. It is a good move. Now we have to get the mechanics of the move happening. Find a house, pack, prep to move. There is so much to do. I don't want to do to mucho that we feel uncomfortable the rest of the time we are here, but I also do not want to wait until the last minute so that we are rushing to pack everything up. My milestone, is a family milestone. We are starting a new chapter for us, all of us.

We are moving!

It has finally happened. I have been offered a position in Virginia, near DC. After talking, we decided that moving is inthebest interests of the family and my career, so I have accepted the position. I finished my last day with my current school district today and am scheduled to begin work in Virginia on the 20th of August. In between now and then. Have to execute a move from here to there. Only half way across the country. About 1600 miles, give or take a few. LOL We are excited, nervous, and possibly a little scared. It will be the first time either of us have moved this far without the Navy being involved. We know we have made the right choice. We only hope to continue making the right choices.

Break over?

Spent most of this spring break sick. Which quite frankly, sucks. I had hoped to do more. More of everything, truthfully. I wanted to do more with K, wanted to do more with the kids, wanted to do more with my school stuff, so just - MORE.

I am not looking forward to going back to school so soon. I know I have the weekend, but I also know that the weekend is going to go by too fast. Way too fast. I had hoped to do some things around the house, but haven't felt well enough to do it.

The one positive thing I have in my thoughts right now is that my student teacher is going to begin teaching more of my classes and this will allow me to begin doing more of my own planning and organizing. I full plan on taking advantage of it. I will begin organizing all of my files, trashing things I don't need, begin compiling stuff for next year, and the biggest thing - get my website stuff up and ready to go. I want to get as much stuff up and online as possible. Lets see how far I get.

Still a teacher?

According to my paycheck and where I go everyday, yes I am still a teacher. But there have been many times this school year where I have questioned if I really am a good teacher.

I really do enjoy my career choice, but this year has been a very tough year for me. It doesn't feel like I have really taught this year, not like I have wanted or like I expect of myself. I know that I am my harshest critic, but this year I haven't thrown enough energy into the classroom That is my opinion. I ave had so many thins going on outside the classroom I really wonder if I am doing my students justice.

Ok, I know I am not. Now I have fix that, but how? I have been pulled in so many different directions that I don't ever feel like I have the energy to do everything it takes. I want to work smarter, not harder. I want the students to think n a deeper level and not be bored. I want to incorporate more technology in m teaching. I want to teach again. Truly teach.

Today I sat down and thought about lesson planning. My first thought, honestly, was where do I start? I couldn't believe it, but I felt at a total loss as to where to begin. I know, maybe I am feeling overwhelmed. I have been doing a great deal outside the classroom and my mind hasn't been focused just on the class.

I have taught so many different subjects that I have been going through first year teacher issues my entire career. Maybe I am suffering burnout because of it. How do I fix it?

Galveston for the New Year

K and I are in Galveston. We decided to spend the last week of 2011 here and ring in 2012.

It has been an interesting week for the end of a long year. This year was a year of firsts and a year of loss. The hope is that 2012 brings  sense of renewal with it. Maybe a sense of purpose or a sense of belonging.

The view from our hotel balcony.

K and I have been talking that we both feel unsettled where we are. It can be summed up that we are where we are for now, but it doesn't feel like it is the right place. We aren't in a horrible place, it just not where we feel we fully fit. Sound strange? I know. It makes us both feel a bit awkward, but it helped to talk about it. The school I teach at is great about us. Fully accepting and all, but the state we are in doesn't allow us to feel relaxed about being open. We are in a bubble and the fear of going outside that bubble to find a place we really want to be is something we are both wrestling with.

We have a senior and junior in college, a senior and freshman in high school, and then our youngest is n 5th grade. We have realized there is never a right time to uproot and move, but how long do we have to wait to feel home? To enjoy our surroundings even when we aren't vacationing? Is that possible?

I guess it can be summed up that we are going to be looking for our place in the world this year. Where we fit into the puzzle and aren't trying to figure the puzzle out. I plan to be healthier at the end of the year than the beginning of the year.

Merry Christmas!

It is hard to believe that it s already Christmas 2011. This year seems to have flown by. However, I know at times it crept by.


This year brought the loss of a good friend. I had known her since high school. She was taken fast and unexpectedly. She is missed by many.

I have had some good moments this year as well. I have been very lucky in terms of getting supplies provided to my classroom. I feel very fortunate for that. We are in the process of selling our house. We had hoped it would be finished by now, but due to some problems with the buyers, it has been dragged out for some time now. Our realtor hopes to have it done by the end of January. We can only hope.

As I look back on this year I have many things I can say I have been blessed with. I was very blessed to have such a good friend in my life for as long as I did. Her passing has had an impact on my life that has yet to be truly measured. I know life is much shorter than any of us want it to be. I don't take it for granted. I spend as much time with my family as I can and make sure to tell them I love them often.

I love you guy!!