2008? Already?

I can't believe its 2008?
It has been forever since I posted, but I thought - whose really reading anyhow?

Well I am back to being the only teacher in the classroom. Which at first actually scared me a bit, it had been a while. Once I got on my feet I was good to go. I sill have some speed bumps to get over, but it is getting better. I have to sit and plan out some long term lessons though. Finding the time I need to do that is tough. I have three different subjects to plan and each of them will take a good chunk of time to plan. I don't think I am doing enough. In fact I was commenting earlier today that I would want the type of teacher I am right now to be teaching my kids. I was told I am being hard on myself. Maybe I am, but I expect more and I am not doing so hot.

The Christmas break has come and gone. Rumor has it that the freshmen get easier to deal with after christmas..... ummm when? How long after Christmas before this mysterious change? I am still waiting. Maybe they are too. I have not fully found myself in this classroom. Does that make sense to anyone? How can it when it isn't crystal clear for myself? Its foggy for me.

Foggy in the sense that I am not me in the classroom. Not a comfortable me. I am not comfortable in the new high school, in this new classroom. I have not been able to make the room mine. It doesn't feel like my classroom.

It isn't for lack of trying. I mean I have begun to paint the walls, to give it a fresh look. I have decorated the door. I have arranged some of the furniture, but I do not feel comfortable in the room. I do not know what I am missing. Vern? Frank? Trading Spaces or maybe while you were out can help me. Then I think - if I can't help me what makes me think they can help. I do not know how to get my feet solidly back on the classroom floor.

It is 2008 and I still do not know which direction I am headed. I hope to find that direction in 2008. I want to be a better teacher, better mother, better wife, better lover, better friend, be a better me. (Losing some weight along the way would be nice to.)

I am thankful for the family I have. We have weathered through some tough times. My immediate family is strong, even with the tugs and pulls we have had; my extended family - a few cousins here and there have really begun to come together too. It has been realy nice to reach out and talk to them. I have a great group of friends. Everywhere from LA. to NE and down to TX. Thanks everyone!

My wife - she's awesome. 6 months today. WOW! We didn't think we would get a ceremony and now look at us. Love ya!

2008 - its underway - can we get time to slow down so we can enjoy it more?