This past week has been tough, physically and mentally.
I learned my AP class has been taken from me and I through myself into renovating the half bath. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but the carpet that was in there was pulled out, some hardi-backer was put down, and then tile went on top of that. Next thing to happen was the electrical plug was replaced and the light fixture updated. The one we had in there was the builder grade dressing room in your face type. Very annoying. Today a new paint job is happening. We would like to replace the mirror if possible and and some point the vanity itself.
The other thing going on is the pool. Trying to get the pool chemically set to allow the kids to jump in. It has been VERY hot here and having the pool up and running would be really good for them.
We are going to put in new mailbox this weekend as well. Someone has been messing with our mailbox and we are going to stop that problem now.
Mentally - hmmm lets see. The AP class thing was a blow. However, I will get over at some point.
L turning 18 has been tough. She and I have been ramming our heads together this summer. She is preparing to go into the Corps of Cadets, yet she isn't preparing. She has lagged on doing what needs to be done. That is everything from starting to run to checking on how to get access for her grandfather to help pay her tuition bill. I have, well had, been trying to push her along. Back in June K said stop. So I did. Then in July, L freaks out on us that no one cares, no one has helped, yada yada yada. K explains that she complained I bitched at her so much that she had me stop. L says what did you do that for? Catch 22. That's what it is. So I start pushing her along some more.
About 3 days ago she gets irked again. So I stop altogether. I have had enough. Enough of the disrespect. enough of the bitching, enough of the door slams, so I stopped talking to her. Done - finito, finished. I don't want the constant bickering in the house. I want the house to be peaceful again. I miss that.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Friends?
While I was growing up, prior to the divorce of my parents, I had a solid blue collar life. I moved a couple times, but I don't remember worrying about things.
I had one consistent set of friends. A brother and sister that I can, to this day, remember having been around my family since before I can remember. Their parents were friends with my parents. My Dad and their Dad worked together at the bakery before the bakery shut down.
After my parents divorce, things were different. Dad got the friends in the divorce and Mom liked to keep the kids from Dad.
After the divorce I lost touch with those two. Ever so often I would be able to meet up with them, but my life had drastically changed. I was no longer the kids from a blue collar family. I was now the oldest child of a family on welfare. The oldest child of a mother who couldn't seem to find someone to love her.
I got the short end of the stick growing up. There are people who had it much worse that I did. I do realize that. However I have also come to realize that I do not make friends well. I do not seem to socialize well. I do ok - but I could have done better.
My childhood is my past. It is something I cannot get rid of, but also something I do not want to define me now. How do I reconcile the past and continue on without feeling the loss of something?
I had one consistent set of friends. A brother and sister that I can, to this day, remember having been around my family since before I can remember. Their parents were friends with my parents. My Dad and their Dad worked together at the bakery before the bakery shut down.
After my parents divorce, things were different. Dad got the friends in the divorce and Mom liked to keep the kids from Dad.
After the divorce I lost touch with those two. Ever so often I would be able to meet up with them, but my life had drastically changed. I was no longer the kids from a blue collar family. I was now the oldest child of a family on welfare. The oldest child of a mother who couldn't seem to find someone to love her.
I got the short end of the stick growing up. There are people who had it much worse that I did. I do realize that. However I have also come to realize that I do not make friends well. I do not seem to socialize well. I do ok - but I could have done better.
My childhood is my past. It is something I cannot get rid of, but also something I do not want to define me now. How do I reconcile the past and continue on without feeling the loss of something?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
What a month!
In this past month we have been to Iowa, stayed ten full day, came home to missing mail, and ants invading our a/c unit. Yes, ants can interrupt the proper mechanical function of an air conditioning unit.
We went up to Iowa to spend some time with my family. Thought it would be a great thing. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't what we thought it would be either. I really did enjoy spending time with my nieces and nephews. It was the first time I was able to meet a couple of them and it was nice.
We spent the first few days on the east side of Iowa and then headed to the West side of Iowa to spend some time with the other side of the family and visit some friends that I hadn't seen in awhile. Which was really nice.
I was able to talk to the one cousin that I was the closest to growing up. We exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch better than we have before. Which will be really nice. So much has changed.
I was also able to visit two of my uncles who were able to give me information regarding my family trees. I was able to fill in some blanks that I thought I had hit brick walls with.
Next on my agenda is to finish my syllabi for this coming school year, fix the pool, and finish the blanket I started maing for my youngest sister's soon to be newest child. (She can stop having children until she marries someone now!)
We went up to Iowa to spend some time with my family. Thought it would be a great thing. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't what we thought it would be either. I really did enjoy spending time with my nieces and nephews. It was the first time I was able to meet a couple of them and it was nice.
We spent the first few days on the east side of Iowa and then headed to the West side of Iowa to spend some time with the other side of the family and visit some friends that I hadn't seen in awhile. Which was really nice.
I was able to talk to the one cousin that I was the closest to growing up. We exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch better than we have before. Which will be really nice. So much has changed.
I was also able to visit two of my uncles who were able to give me information regarding my family trees. I was able to fill in some blanks that I thought I had hit brick walls with.
Next on my agenda is to finish my syllabi for this coming school year, fix the pool, and finish the blanket I started maing for my youngest sister's soon to be newest child. (She can stop having children until she marries someone now!)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Vacations and extended family = oil and water
Vacations.... is there really such a thing?
We have been away from home since last Thursday and I am more tired now than I was last week. A vacation does not mean you will rest. A vacation means you will leave the comfort of your own bed and hope you have some fun along the way and make some great memories.
What was I thinking coming to visit extended family? Did I really think they would look at me differently? Treat me differently?
I had hoped. My head knows better - my heart only aches for acceptance.
What was I thinking coming to visit extended family? Did I really think they would look at me differently? Treat me differently?
I had hoped. My head knows better - my heart only aches for acceptance.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Summer...
Summer is in full swing. We are back home and trying to decide what needs to get done around the house.
The pool isn't done yet. Still needs cleaned. The yard needs mowed and there are a few small jobs around the house that really need to be done. For me the idea is to get the kids involved in getting some of these things done. I am not sure they like that idea.
I have to begin planning for the school year as well. I am honestly a bit lazy about doing that because I do not want to begin planning for something that I may not teach. That would be a complete waste of time for me. Why prepare for something I will not be teaching?
L is now on her own for prepping for the Corps of Cadets. After mush discussion we have decided that she needs to prepare for this on her own. She wants to fight us all the way. She doesn't know if she likes the help or hates the help. So we aren't going to help her at all with it. If she wants this she is going to have to work for it. It is something she needs to be fighting for herself. We won't be there in the fall.
K and I are really looking at the Houston area for a move. Right now I think we are just looking for a move to an area we don't feel so claustrophobic. We want to be able to be out more. I am nervous that moving isn't gong to solve as many problems as we hope it will. Maybe I am woorried about nothing, but the concerns are there. there is a concern that stay here is just as bad.
The pool isn't done yet. Still needs cleaned. The yard needs mowed and there are a few small jobs around the house that really need to be done. For me the idea is to get the kids involved in getting some of these things done. I am not sure they like that idea.
I have to begin planning for the school year as well. I am honestly a bit lazy about doing that because I do not want to begin planning for something that I may not teach. That would be a complete waste of time for me. Why prepare for something I will not be teaching?
L is now on her own for prepping for the Corps of Cadets. After mush discussion we have decided that she needs to prepare for this on her own. She wants to fight us all the way. She doesn't know if she likes the help or hates the help. So we aren't going to help her at all with it. If she wants this she is going to have to work for it. It is something she needs to be fighting for herself. We won't be there in the fall.
K and I are really looking at the Houston area for a move. Right now I think we are just looking for a move to an area we don't feel so claustrophobic. We want to be able to be out more. I am nervous that moving isn't gong to solve as many problems as we hope it will. Maybe I am woorried about nothing, but the concerns are there. there is a concern that stay here is just as bad.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
June 2009
This has been a very interesting week on many levels.
On a personal level I spent more days away from the family than I am use to. I spent five days in Houston for training and the family came up on Wednesday. K took the kids to the children's museum up there. I spent time in the classrooms of Rice University and visited Hindi and Muslim houses of worship. The hope is that having visited these places will allow us to be able to teach with some personal touches.
The kids were also able to use the hotel pool. They seemes to enjoy the couple days they had up there.
K and I are looking at the real possibility of making a move up there since it seems so hard to get into the Austin area. I have a couple of friends in different districts in the Houston region. One district in particular has an opening at one of the high schools and a friend has passed on my information to people she knows and the hope is that I get a call for an interview.
K has been looking into the region a little more and has noticed there are a lot more activities for children in the area. She is researching to see where the better areas are to live.
On a different note it has been a week of losses in the world of celebrities. Ed MacMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays. Wow! All four in less than a week's time. Rest in Peace all.
On a personal level I spent more days away from the family than I am use to. I spent five days in Houston for training and the family came up on Wednesday. K took the kids to the children's museum up there. I spent time in the classrooms of Rice University and visited Hindi and Muslim houses of worship. The hope is that having visited these places will allow us to be able to teach with some personal touches.
The kids were also able to use the hotel pool. They seemes to enjoy the couple days they had up there.
K and I are looking at the real possibility of making a move up there since it seems so hard to get into the Austin area. I have a couple of friends in different districts in the Houston region. One district in particular has an opening at one of the high schools and a friend has passed on my information to people she knows and the hope is that I get a call for an interview.
K has been looking into the region a little more and has noticed there are a lot more activities for children in the area. She is researching to see where the better areas are to live.
On a different note it has been a week of losses in the world of celebrities. Ed MacMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays. Wow! All four in less than a week's time. Rest in Peace all.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Houston
I am currently in Houston for a conference. I have been here since Monday and will be here for a few more days. I am tired. Have been waking up every morning before 7 and have not been able to get to sleep before 12 or 1am.
I am not sure if I am learning anything just yet. I will have to get back to you on that. I think I am getting information that I can use to find things to use.
The drive up here wasn't bad. On Monday I drove L over to TAMU. She had her audition for the TAMU band on Tues and we now have a member of the TAMU Corps Band in our family.
Yesteday K and our youngest three drove in to spend the last few days with me and we all drove over to pick up L. It is really nice to have everyone up here. Last night I was able to get a really good night of sleep with K in bed with me. I didn't fall asleep any earlier, but I slept deeper I think.
Today the conference I am in is in the computer lab for a bit before we head out to the Islamic Education Center. We are going to be learning more about the religions we teach about.
K is talking about taking the kids to the Children's Museum today. I wish I was going, but I am still glad that when I get back to the hotel room they will be around.
I am not sure if I am learning anything just yet. I will have to get back to you on that. I think I am getting information that I can use to find things to use.
The drive up here wasn't bad. On Monday I drove L over to TAMU. She had her audition for the TAMU band on Tues and we now have a member of the TAMU Corps Band in our family.
Yesteday K and our youngest three drove in to spend the last few days with me and we all drove over to pick up L. It is really nice to have everyone up here. Last night I was able to get a really good night of sleep with K in bed with me. I didn't fall asleep any earlier, but I slept deeper I think.
Today the conference I am in is in the computer lab for a bit before we head out to the Islamic Education Center. We are going to be learning more about the religions we teach about.
K is talking about taking the kids to the Children's Museum today. I wish I was going, but I am still glad that when I get back to the hotel room they will be around.
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